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A server interrupts by bringing the food. He places a plate of food in front of me, but I can’t focus. It’s truly over between us. A bitter, sharp laugh escapes my mouth. The server looks at me weirdly, but I don’t care.
It’s one thing to think it’s over and quite another to hear it from the horse’s mouth. “What will I be after our divorce goes through?” I ask Declan in a jokey tone. “A twice-divorced woman?”
Declan stares at me. “If I remember correctly, you were the one who was adamant that we divorce as soon as we each have what we want.”
“You’re right,” I tell him and let out a shaky breath. I wanted that before I fell in love with you.
“What did you want to talk about?” Declan asks as he tucks into his steak with obvious relish.
My knees turn to water. I have to tell him. He deserves to know. I wrap my hand around the bottle of water and bring it to my lips. The cool liquid wets my dry mouth and throat.
“I haven’t been feeling too well lately, and so this morning, I went to the clinic.”
A look of concern comes over his features, but I know it doesn’t mean anything. That’s the kind of person Declan is. He cares about his family and friends. I like to think that I at least fall in that latter category.
“Turns out that I’m pregnant,” I tell him.
A look of pure wonder comes over his features before it disappears. “Congratulations. Now you have what you wanted all along.” He pushes his steak away.
Anger courses through me. “So do you. You have your precious LA branch.”
“Glad we’re even,” Declan says.
“I’m assuming that you don’t want to be part of the baby’s life?” I ask him. “Don’t worry; I don’t need anything from you.”
“I’m sure you don’t,” Declan says.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I say.
Declan’s shoulders suddenly slump. A tired look comes over his features, and guilt comes over me. Then I remind myself that he’s the one who lied to me. The one who pretended to love me until he got what he wanted.
I steel myself.
“Do what you want, Marian. I don’t want to fight with you or with anybody else for that matter. Go back to Arlen. Whatever makes you happy. Go for it.”
He stands up, and before I can recover and ask him exactly what he means, he walks away. I’m tempted to go after him, but I feel as if I’ve been in an intense wrestling match.
Chapter 40
Declan
I hadn’t planned on attending Josh and Judy’s wedding, but I guess I’m a sucker for punishment because, on a lovely Friday morning, I’m driving up to Arlen. I want to see Marian so badly, and yet I don’t.
She’ll most likely be with Leonard, and seeing them together will just about kill me. But maybe that’s what my stupid brain needs to stop thinking about Marian and our baby. You would think that three weeks would be enough to move on or at least ease the pain. If anything, it’s getting worse. Even Ace and Lexi have stopped inviting me for dinner at their place until I can replace my permanent droopy face with a more cheerful one.
My chest is empty where my heart should be. I’m miserable, and yet I should be the happiest man in the country. The LA branch of Did you say Pizza? has exceeded our financial projections. The Santa Monica branch is doing great as well.
Turns out I’m not all about business as I once believed. I hate this weakness for Marian that I have. I hate that I love her so much, which makes all the things that I’ve achieved seem meaningless. I miss her so much.
The memories swamp me then. Marian when she’s just fallen asleep with strands of her gorgeous chocolate brown hair lying across her forehead. Marian opening one emerald green eye before deciding whether to wake up or not. Marian throwing her head back to laugh. And this one that makes my cock hard instantly. Marian, with her legs thrown apart, writhing and whimpering as I eat her pussy.
I get to the Resort in good time to check-in and head to the garden where the ceremony is being held. I see her as soon as I step out. She’s dressed in a gorgeous pale green flowing dress that makes me wonder if her belly has started filling out.
She has her back to me, and she and another woman are fiddling with the flowers arranged in vases along with the altar. The garden is milling with guests, and I stand hidden by a tree as I watch Marian.
I feel as if I were underwater and I’ve come up for air. Marian is my air, and I can’t get enough of her. I don’t know how long I stand there, missing every familiar gesture and facial expression.
