ChapterOne
NASH
The day my brother got married was the worst day of my life.
It didn't start out that way.
When it started, I thought it was going to be another typical day with my family. Long stretches of boredom punctuated by bursts of irritation. My family was frequently both boring and irritating. Despite our differences, I loved my parents, so for them, I tolerated the boredom and irritation.
My brother Tyler was a different thing altogether. Tyler I avoided completely. I tried to stick with that tactic when it came to his wedding. I had no interest in watching him marry some society airhead in a spectacle that would easily run seven figures. I wasn't going to suffer through a tedious weekend I'd never get back when they'd be divorced in a year.
I had my strategy all planned. I'd have a last-minute emergency meeting. In Tokyo. Maybe I'd miss my flight back. My mother put an end to that. I'd learned over the years that firm boundaries are the key to loving Claudia Kingsley. Very firm. As in, sky-high and rock solid. Once Claudia knew she couldn't yank my chain, we'd settled into a comfortable affection that worked for both of us.
Then Tyler proposed to Parker Sawyer and my mother decided my boundaries could go to hell. She wanted her whole family at the wedding of the century and wouldn't accept anything less. I managed to get out of the engagement party and rehearsal dinner but agreed through gritted teeth to attend the ceremony and reception.
Skipping the engagement party was the biggest mistake of my life.
After, my mother's words rang in my ear.You have to meet her, Nash. I really think Parker will be the making of your brother. She's perfection. You're going to love her.
For once, my mother was right, 100%. And 100% wrong. Parker Sawyer wouldn't be the making of Tyler. He was a lost cause. He was greedy, jealous, entitled, and excelled at the kind of manipulation that kept everyone around him dancing to his tune. No woman could be the making of Tyler. He'd destroy anyone foolish enough to tie herself to him. That's what Tyler always did with his toys.
My mother was wrong about Parker and Tyler, but she was right about one thing. I was going to love Parker Sawyer.
For the rest of my life, I'll never forgive myself for waiting until the wedding to meet the bride. The first time I set eyes on her, she was heading down the aisle on her father's arm, her slight, fragile form elegantly sheathed in a white satin column of a dress, its spare design highlighting her small stature, her pale hair in a refined knot that accentuated her stunning features.
Everything about her was understated beauty, except for her eyes. A golden hazel, they glowed with serenity. And deeper, beneath the shell of perfection, there was a spark, a hint of life that was nothing as serene and orderly as her exterior suggested.
I'll never know how I alone saw it—Parker's secret chaos, the wild spark she hid so well. See it I did, and as she walked down that aisle I experienced the first moment of genuine regret in my life, a sense of something precious slipping through my fingers, gone before I could make it my own. My heart ached, an unfamiliar sick pulse in my chest, loss spreading through my limbs, saturating my soul.
So much regret in that one moment. I make it a policy not to have regrets. I make decisions, and I move forward. If I fuck up, I try not to do it again. Simple and efficient. I don't waste energy dwelling on things I can't change. Until Parker.
There's nothing I regret more than turning down my mother's invitation to Tyler's engagement party. I have no doubt that if I'd been at that engagement party, I would have left with Parker.
Unfortunately, at the time I wasn't speaking to our father and all my mother's pleadings fell on deaf ears. I was done helping them enable Tyler. If I'd known my father wouldn't live more than a few months after the wedding, if I'd known who Parker would be to me, I would have come to the engagement party. I would have taken one look at Parker and changed all of our lives, instead of putting us through what came later.
Thunderstruck, I watched Parker proceed up the aisle, something elemental inside me demanding I leap from my seat to steal her for my own. I couldn't compute, couldn't reconcile the ultra-civilized wedding unfolding before me with the raw, primal need to seize Parker, to make her mine.
Vows were spoken. Tyler pressed his mouth to Parker's. My stomach turned.
The bride and groom left the church in a spray of soft pink flower petals.
I headed straight for the bar.
Two whiskeys and I wasn't any closer to getting my head on straight. Something inside me had shifted, a puzzle piece moving and another sliding into place. I'd seen Parker for only a moment and I knew. She was meant to be mine. And she was my brother's wife. Not just any brother, she was Tyler's wife. Fucking Tyler. Even Parker's formidable shell wasn't enough to protect her from the insidious poison that was Tyler.
She'd chosen him. I tried to remind myself of that through whiskies number three and four.She had chosen him.She probably thought she loved him. It wasn't my place to tell her who she should love.
That feeble protest didn't get very far. I'd grown up with Tyler, after all. I knew exactly how charming he could be when it served his purposes. Parker, my Parker, likely had no idea what she'd done in marrying my brother.
I held it together when my mother tracked me down and dragged me to the receiving line to congratulate the happy couple. Tyler wasn't the only Kingsley who could pull off charming. I'd almost convinced myself I'd imagined everything I felt as I watched Parker walking down the aisle.
Love at first sight is a child's fairy tale. I knew nothing about this woman, and she was married to Tyler. Not a choice that spoke highly of her character. I'd been momentarily deluded, had been having a weird moment and had fixated on this woman, my brother's bride. I'd made more of her than she was.
Parker Sawyer—no ParkerKingsley—was just a woman. She was my sister-in-law. She was married to my dickhead of a brother. She was no one special.
Then my mother pushed me at the bride and groom. Parker leveled her practiced, cool smile on my face as she slid her hand into mine. The moment we touched, the second her eyes met mine, we both went still, and that spark, the wild flicker of chaos in her depths, flared to life. Reflexively, her fingers tightened on mine, her breath caught in her throat. Wonder suffused her face, her body tilted forward, closing the distance between us—
I don't know what would have happened if my mother hadn't cut in, her voice shrill, manic in her excitement. "Nash, this is Parker! I can't believe you haven't met—"
