Blond hair tumbled around my shoulders, flat and creased from the too-tight twist. My skin was pale with fatigue, shadowed under my eyes, tight with strain. I didn't like this Parker. I didn't want to be this Parker anymore.
I didn't know what Parker I wanted to be.
Liar, a little voice in my head whispered.You know what Parker–who's Parker–you want to be.
That wasn't happening.
All I had was me, standing in my underwear, not knowing what to do next.
I had no clue.
Not about the next stage of my life. That was a problem for later. For now, I was going to have lunch with my brother, and then maybe a nap. Maybe in the garden where I could let the heat of the summer sun chase off the chill that had settled inside me after the encounter with Tyler.
I was home, and I was safe. Tyler couldn't hurt me here. I'd left my marriage with little more than my clothes, the jewelry, and a few belongings, but I had a roof over my head and a home with my family for as long as I needed it. That was far more than a lot of women in my situation had. I could figure out the rest later.
I leaned down to pick up my discarded suit out of habit. My fingers grazed the navy silk and pulled back. No. Just no. I'd deal with that later, too.
I turned to my closet and pulled out a bright red gauzy sundress I rarely wore. Too casual. Too whimsical. Tyler had hated it. He'd liked me elegant, his pearl set in platinum. I liked pearls and platinum, but sometimes I wanted to be a poppy or a Zinnia, vibrant and alive instead of cool and luminous.
The truth was, I wanted to be whatever I felt like. I wanted to live in the moment, instead of carefully crafting an image to protect myself. I hadn't realized what a trap my life had been. First with my father, trying so hard to be perfect enough to escape his attention, desperate to get away and too blind to see I was trading my father for Tyler and another kind of prison.
But Tyler had finally been served the divorce papers, and I'd collected the last of my things. Two small steps closer to real freedom.
It was finally sinking in–I didn't have to protect myself. I didn't have to be perfect for anyone. For the first time in my life, I could just be me. Whoever the hell that was.
I drew the light fabric over my head, pulled a brush through my hair, shoved my feet into a pair of cute white ballet flats, and left the closet, the navy suit crumpled on the floor behind me. The rest of my life was a lot to take in. For the moment, all I wanted was some food and the unfamiliar comfort of my big brother looking out for me.
ChapterEight
PARKER
Griffen was waiting when I got to his office, a tray of sandwiches and a pot of tea on the coffee table in front of the fireplace. I sat opposite him on the sofa, taking in the view of the gardens through the French doors on the far side of the room, the grass emerald green under the July sun.
"I'm starving," I admitted, rubbing a hand over my stomach. "Too much coffee this morning–
"–and airport food is terrible," Griffen finished for me.
Despite my empty stomach, I reached for the pot of tea first and poured a cup for each of us. I doctored mine with milk and sugar before lifting it to my mouth, inhaling the familiar scent of bergamot and black tea with a hint of lavender and vanilla. My favorite blend.
Savannah was a genius. She knew everything about everyone living in Heartstone Manor and used her inside knowledge to take care of us. Savannah was making us into a family again as much as Griffen was. It was in her blood. Her mother, Miss Martha, had been the housekeeper of Heartstone Manor for most of my life. After my mother died when I was nine, Miss Martha was the closest any of us had to a mom.
"How was New York? Did you get what you needed?" Griffen asked, concern heavy in his eyes.
I sipped carefully at the hot tea, shrugging one shoulder slightly so I didn't spill. I loved Griffen, had loved him since I was a child, and he'd been my affectionate, fun-loving older brother. As a girl, I'd thought Griffen could solve any problem, right up until our father and brother had conspired to exile him from not just the Sawyer family, but from Sawyers Bend itself.
And Griffen had left. He'd walked down the long drive to the road, only a backpack slung over his shoulder. None of us had seen him again until a few months ago. At twelve, I hadn't understood how he could abandon us. Now that I'd run in my own way, marrying Tyler to create a new life away from Heartstone and my father, I thought I understood why Griffen had taken off and not looked back.
In my heart, I wasn't ready to let go of all those years apart. I wasn't ready to trust him completely. The little girl in me wanted to answer his question with the truth, to tell him everything, let him hug me and promise nothing would ever hurt me again.
I hadn't been a little girl for a long time, and no matter how much I wanted Griffen's comfort, I couldn't bring myself to tell him everything. It was enough thatIknew how badly I'd screwed up my life. I didn't want to lay it all out for Griffen.
"I left a few things in my room, things I didn't want to leave behind."
"And you have all of it?" he asked carefully.
"I do. Everything is good now," I said with a faint smile. And just for a second I had a horrible vision of Tyler, and what he would have done if he'd caught me alone, packing up valuables he would have wanted for himself. Valuables he'd have felt entitled to, the way he felt entitled to me. If Nash hadn't been there...
I remembered too late that Griffen was highly observant. Years in the military and working in private security had only honed that skill. He didn't miss the way my smile dissolved. "What happened?"
