No more tactics. No more plans. I was going to give her what she deserved. The truth.
I drew in a breath, giving myself a moment to brace before I laid it out for her. It was time to stop protecting myself. If I wanted Parker to trust me, I had to trust her first.
"I love you, Parker. I was trying to take this slow, give you time to get used to the idea, but I see now that was a mistake. I shouldn't have left you without telling you where I was going, but I thought you understood."
"Understood what?" she pushed, her eyes wide, cheeks pale.
"That there's only you for me. Since the day we met, the day you married Tyler, there hasn't been another woman I wanted."
"But there've been other women," she pointed out, one blond eyebrow arched.
"You were with Tyler. If you recall, I asked you to come with me instead."
Parker shook that off. "I couldn't–"
"I know you couldn't. And yes, there were other women in my life. I'm not a monk and you were married. But I love you. I told myself it wasn't love, it was infatuation or lust or a crush. But it isn't any of those things. I love you. Just being near you makes me happy. You settle my soul. When I think of the future, all I see is you."
She crossed her arms over her chest, facing me. If I'd hoped she'd swoon in delight at my declaration of love, I was disappointed. "Did you come here for me? Was the business deal a ruse?"
"Yes and no," I answered with brutal honesty. Parker didn't need fancy words. She needed the truth. "The business deal is real. You know that. And I was hoping it would give me an excuse to be near you."
"What if it hadn't worked out?"
"Then I would have found another excuse. I don't want to wait anymore. You finally left Tyler. Maybe this is too soon. I know you're worried that it's inappropriate, that Claudia will be upset."
Parker nodded, but said nothing, her brow furrowed, eyes staring blindly out the window.
"Is that the only thing you're worried about?"
Parker turned to me slowly. "It's part of it. I don't want to lose your mother. I can't stand the thought of hurting her. But that's not the only thing."
It was torture to stand there and wait for her to put her thoughts together, to gather the courage to speak them aloud.
"I have feelings for you," she admitted, her golden hazel eyes wounded when they met mine. "I have since the day we met. You know that. But I can't–" She stopped, paused, and tried again. "I'm not even divorced yet, and–"
She stopped again. I didn't believe her marriage to Tyler was the problem. If we couldn't talk about this honestly, we weren't going to get very far. "You don't trust me," I said.
Parker's shoulders slumped in relief, and a shadow of a smile crossed her face. "I don't. I'm sorry."
Shaking my head, I let her off the hook. "Don't apologize for that, Parker. I don't know all the details of your marriage to Tyler. I've never understood how you could have stayed married to him for so long. But I do know that six years of being Tyler's wife would leave any woman reluctant to trust."
Parker nodded and looked away, her eyes brimming with tears. Fuck. Not how I wanted this to go. Then she shocked the hell out of me.
"This is why," she whispered, not looking at me. "I'm not the kind of woman you should be with. I'm not accomplished or ambitious. I let a man belittle me for years, and I stayed married to him, even after he hit me. What does that say about me?"
With that, I was done giving her space. Crossing the room, I pulled her into my arms. She went stiff, but didn't pull away. "That's ridiculous, Parker. All of it. I'm not the kind of man who falls in love with a resume. I don't want a woman who's perfect on paper. I want you. Do you think you're the only woman who stayed in a bad marriage and then felt like shit about it later? Life is complicated. You did the best you could. Isn't it time to let yourself off the hook?"
She shuddered against me, her face buried in my shoulder. Was she crying? I swear my chest was going to cave in if she kept crying. The last thing I wanted in the world was to make Parker cry.
Her words little more than a breath, she said, "You barely know me, Nash. How can you be in love with me?"
"Not know you? You're the woman who comforted me at my father's funeral. Who was most of the reason I could get through his death and everything that came after. You took care of everyone, even Tyler, who didn't deserve it. You're the best board game partner in the universe. Do you remember three years ago when Mom made us play that word guessing game and you and I blew everyone away?"
This time, her shudder was a laugh. "Tyler was so angry. You didn't even get the whole word out and I knew the answer."
"It was like you were reading my mind," I said, tightening my arm around her. "And I was reading yours."
Parker sighed and tried to pull away. I didn't let her get far. Reaching out, I took her hands in mine, looking down into her shimmering hazel eyes, taking in her tear-streaked face.
