“How many times?”She calls me out like the pro she is.
I pause.“Okay, maybe three times.”
Nicole laughs softly.“This is the bassist, right?”
I groan quietly and move toward the kitchen for more coffee.“When you say it like that, I sound unstable.”
“You texted me at midnight.”
“I was processing.”
“You used three question marks, Vanessa.You were spiraling.”
“I do not spiral.”
Nicole just lifts a brow.The worst part is she’s not entirely wrong.I lean against the counter again, curling both hands around my mug.“It’s just strange.”
“That he’s back?”
“That I still-” I stop myself before the sentence fully forms.
Nicole’s expression softens slightly.“There it is,” she observes quietly.
The words settle deeper than I expect.Not because she’s talking about Hayden.Because she’s talking about me.The version of myself I thought had disappeared somewhere between growing up, rebuilding my life, and learning how to survive disappointment without letting it hollow me out completely.
“You know what the funny part is?”I glance at myself in the mirror across the room.“I thought seeing him again would feel smaller somehow.Like enough time had passed that it wouldn’t matter anymore.”
“And?”
I let out a slow breath.“It mattered immediately.”
Nicole studies me through the screen for a second too long.“Are you happy about that?”
The answer comes too quickly.“I think I am.”
That seems to surprise both of us.A small smile pulls at the corner of Nicole’s mouth.“Well, that’s got to be terrifying.”
I laugh despite myself, shaking my head.
“I’m serious,” she continues.“You don’t do this.”
“Do what?”
“Get emotionally involved.”
“It’s coffee.”
“It’s the second time within a week that you’re seeing the man you’ve compared every relationship to for the last ten years.”
My eyes narrow.“That feels a bit inflated.”
“It’s accurate.”
Unfortunately, it is.I walk into my living room and glance toward the clock on the stove.
10:47.
“You’re nervous.”
