Chapter Twenty-Three
Hayden
Like a Stone
Audioslave
Luc’s house smells like bourbon, turkey, nutmeg, and it’s absolute chaos.Laughter carries through every room the second I step inside.Warm light spills across hardwood floors while soft rock music hums in the background through speakers overhead.The entire place feels lived in now in a way it never did before Lily and Larkin moved in.
I shrug out of my coat and hang it on the rack seconds before a small blonde blur barrels directly into my legs.“Hay-den!”
I look down just in time to catch Larkin as she wraps both arms around one of my knees, her curls bouncing wildly around flushed cheeks.
“Well.”I bend enough to scoop her up against my side.“You’re full of energy.”
“She had pie.”Luc strolls past carrying two beer bottles with zero concern for the tiny dictator attempting to steal my watch.“Sugar turned her into a domestic terrorist.”
“I’m not a tear-ist.”Her tiny voice blurts from my side.
“That’s exactly what a terrorist would say.”Her dad echoes on a laugh.
Larkin feigns a dramatic gasp.From the kitchen, Lily points a wooden spoon in Luc’s direction without turning around from the stove.“Leave my child alone.”
“Ourchild just threatened Dean with a gravy spoon.”
“She had valid concerns.”
Dean emerges from the living room with impeccable timing and points at Lily.“Your daughter fights dirty.”
“She’s smart,” Lily fires back in defense.
The entire room dissolves into overlapping laughter while Larkin tries to steals a beer bottle out of Luc’s hand like she just won a grammy.And for the first time in a long time, I notice something strange settle low in my chest while I look around the room.
It’s not envy.It’s quieter than that, which makes it far more dangerous, because it’s a profound realization that I belong here.Mikey and Quinn are tangled together on one end of the couch in the living room, Quinn’s sock-covered feet thrown over his lap while he rubs circles against her ankle during an argument with Dean about whether deep-frying turkey should be illegal.
“It is illegal,” Quinn states with confidence.“Maybe not technically, but on a spiritual level.”
Dean points at her like she’s just solved a murder.“THANK YOU.”
Mikey glances up from his drink.“You both need to expand your vision of what it means to cook the perfect turkey.”
“You almost blew up your apartment with ramen last month,” Luc calls from the kitchen.
“That was unrelated.”
“You forgot to take the fork out of the cup, and you think we’re going to let you play with oil and fire.”Luc admonishes with a loud chuff.
Another round of laughter.I should feel relaxed here.This is as close to a family as I’ll ever get.The closest thing I’ve ever really had to one since Emily.And yet, all afternoon something sits wrong beneath my skin.It’s subtle and persistent, like an itch that won’t go away even after you scratch it.Like I forgot something important before leaving the apartment this morning.
Lily appears beside me long enough to steal Larkin back into her arms before handing me a whiskey without asking.“You seem distracted.”
“I’m fine.”I take a grateful sip of the drink.
The look she gives me says she doesn’t believe that for a second.I know she’s probably right, but I don’t want to discuss it.At least not out loud.And of course, my attention keeps drifting toward my phone sitting face down on the coffee table.
Not enough to qualify as an obsession, but enough that I know I’m flirting with it.Not that anyone but me is counting or has even noticed.Vanessa did text me earlier today.Nicole convinced her to go shopping downtown this afternoon because apparently Vanessa “needed human interaction beyond one emotionally constipated bass player.”
I stared at that message longer than I should have before realizing she meant me.
