“I need some time.That’s all I need from you right now.Please just give me that.”
Heavy, devastating silence crashes between us before she gives a final shake of her head and walks out of my bedroom, leaving me standing in the middle of the room wondering how I just broke the heart of the woman I love, and what I could do to get her back.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Hayden
One More Light
Linkin Park
The apartment has felt wrong since she walked out of my bedroom.It’s too quiet, too clean, and so fucking empty.
I stand in the middle of my kitchen Monday morning staring at the coffee maker for a solid thirty seconds before realizing I already made coffee ten minutes ago.Excellent.Mental stability seems to be going well.The mug I pulled out of the cabinet still sits untouched on the counter.
Everywhere I look, there’s evidence of Vanessa.Her favorite tea shoved beside my coffee grounds in the cabinet.A hair tie around the base of the lamp beside my bed.The toothbrush she uses when she stays, still on the bathroom counter.Her cream sweater, draped over the chair in my bedroom, forgotten after she left it here last weekend.
My chest tightens in pain at the sight of it.I drag one hand roughly over the stubble lining my face before turning away from the chair to stare out the large window into nothingness.
Space.It’s all she asked for.After she confessed she was in love with me.Which means I need to give it to her.Even if every instinct I have is screaming at me to get in my car and go to her.It’s only been twenty-four hours, but the hours feel more like days.
I don’t go to the studio.Instead, I pace a steady rhythm, back and forth, back and forth, across the span of my living room.By noon, I’ve typed out six different texts to her, and deleted every single one.
I miss you.
Deleted.
Please come back.
Deleted.
I understand now.
Deleted.
You are not a secret.
Deleted.
Forgive me.
Deleted
I love you.
Deleted.
None of them feel right and I know not a single one of them is fair.Because Vanessa didn’t leave to punish me.She left because I hurt her.Even though it was the last thing I ever meant to do to her.And somehow that realization feels so much worse.
By Monday evening, I’ve managed to somehow still not text her.Luc calls once around seven.I let it ring until it goes to voicemail.He doesn’t leave a message.
Mikey sends a text asking if I’m dead.I stare at it for a long second before finally responding.
Not yet.
His typing bubble appears immediately.
Dude, don’t say shit like that.Want me to come over?
