“He loves you, Jane. It is the fault of others,” Elizabeth told the room aloud. She was not willing to concede that what Jane was saying was correct because then she would have to own up to being wrong, and she would not be able to lay the blame at Mr Darcy’s door like she so much wanted to. She went back to the letter.
I love that you are willing to defend me no matter what. But ask yourself this question Aunt Maddie asked me: ‘Do you think someone bound or physically restrained Mr Bingley so he could not return?’
You are too intelligent not to reach the same conclusion I did. Mr Bingley does not love me enough to fight for me in the face of the opposition of his sisters and friend. If he is so capricious now, what will it be like if we ever married? Would I be the mistress of my own home, or would he allow Miss Bingley to keep ruling the roost?
“Janey, my dear Jane. You are convincing yourself of this to lessen the hurt,” Elizabeth claimed aloud. She did not want to face the truth that she was interpreting the words as she wanted to so she would not be wrong.
As I now realise this, I can begin to heal my heart.
Lizzy, I know not if what Miss Bingley wrote about Miss Darcy is the truth (Aunt Maddie agrees with you that Miss B dissembled), but it is no longer a factor.
I am not sure how long it will take for me to reclaim all of my heart again. In time I will, and then I hope to meet a man who values me for myself, not just my looks. A man who is constant and will not allow others to determine his course for him. In other words, a man and not an immature boy. Until Mr Bingley becomes his own man, he will not be a good husband to anyone. Whether it is someone his sisters approve of or not will not change that.
I think for the first time since I was a little girl I am beginning to see the world as it is and not as I want to see it.
Enough of my heartache. Our cousins all send their love to you, Lizzy. Lilly and May have charged me with telling you that they expect you to be present when they turn 11 in June. Peter would not object if you were in London before his 7th birthday in April. I told him you are scheduled to arrive after that date.
Eddy is home from Harrow until after Easter. He is enjoying his first year at the school, and as I am sure you remember, he will be 13 in September.
Aunt Maddie and Uncle Edward asked me to remind you that they are looking forward to you spending a fortnight here before you, Maria, and I return to Meryton. Aunt Maddie wants to purchase new gowns and dresses for you. (She did so for me and would not take ‘no’ as an answer.)
The twins are calling me to play the harp for them. Write back soon, Dearest.
Your loving sister,
Jane
Elizabeth was very pleased that Jane sounded a little less melancholy, and she loved hearing about the Gardiners, but she obstinately ignored Jane’s and Aunt Maddie’s conclusions about Mr Bingley.
~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~
Charles Bingley did not find pleasure in any of the usual pursuits since he had been convinced that Miss Jane Bennet did not esteem him in the way he did her.
He went to balls that Caroline demanded he attend but found no enjoyment in dancing with the women who were not his angel from Hertfordshire. He compared each one to his angel, and each one was found lacking.
Under normal circumstances he imbibed alcohol in moderation. Of late he had regularly been foxed at night. He was in his cups so much that he was more like Hurst than himself. In all his self-pity, it never did occur to Bingley that rather than accept Darcy’s word as gospel, he could have gone back to Miss Bennet and spoken to her.
Darcy had never steered him wrong, so he was sure that was the case this time as well.
It was so much easier for him to rely on others when it came time to make a decision. That way, he could not be blamed if things did not work out the way they should. Bingley knew that the way he relied on others, mainly Darcy, to make decisions for him would have been anathema to his late father.
That being said, it was just easier, and Father was not here to call him on the carpet.
~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~
As it was only a half mile to Rosings Park’s manor house from the parsonage, the party from that house was to walk.
Mr Collins came to their different doors two or three times to demand that the ladies hurry while they were still dressing. He exclaimed that Lady Catherine strenuously objected to being kept waiting for her dinner. Poor Maria Lucas, who had been little used to company, was frightened that she would commit a terriblefaux pasin Lady Catherine’s presence. On the other hand, she was in anticipation of her introduction to Lady Catherine and Miss de Bourgh. Sir William was as keen to arrive at the mansion as he had been to have his presentation at St James Palace.
As the weather was clear and relatively warm, the party from the parsonage had a pleasant walk across the expansive park. Elizabeth saw a few things to be pleased with as they walked; however, as she expected, everything was far too ordered for her tastes. Elizabeth could not be in such raptures as Mr Collins. He reacted as if it were the first time he was seeing the gardens and expected the scene to inspire the same reaction in all, especially his cousin. The same way he had gone on about it at Longbourn, Mr Collins enthused about the grandeur of the windows in the front of the house and what the glazing altogether had originally cost Sir Lewis de Bourgh. Elizabeth knew not how he knew that.
When they were shown into the entrance hall, Maria was intimidated by the display of wealth, as was Sir William. Elizabeth’s courage did not fail her. She had heard nothing of Lady Catherine that indicated that she had any extraordinary talents or miraculous virtues. She did, however, like to display her money and rank.
As if it somehow reflected well on himself, Mr Collins pointed out the fine paintings and the ornaments in theentrance hall, mentioning the cost whenever he was able. They followed the butler to a drawing room where Lady Catherine, her daughter, and Mrs Jenkinson—Miss de Bourgh’s companion—were sitting. Her ladyship, with great condescension, inclined her head towards them. Charlotte Collins took a seat while Collins effected the introductions.
Despite having been at St James for his investiture, Sir William was so completely awed by the grandeur surrounding him that he could do nothing except make a very low bow and take his seat without saying a word. Maria, frightened almost out of her wits, sat on the edge of her chair not knowing which way to look.
Elizabeth was unimpressed and almost found the scene before her amusing, but she did not show that outwardly. She sat and observed the three ladies before her composedly. Lady Catherine was a tall, large woman with strongly marked features, which she could see had never been handsome. Everything about her airs and the design of the room, which included her gilded and raised chair, was designed to make sure visitors never forgot their inferior rank.
