EIGHT
Elizabeth gazed at her image in the mirror. She had chosen her best dress and arranged her hair with much care, her heart beating irregularly.
Jane — newly engaged — was the centre of attention, and she was exceedingly happy for her sister. However, she also felt a deep anxiety and distraction she could not explain.
In a very short amount of time, her feelings had suffered a confusing and astonishing change in regard to Mr Darcy. On the day of the accident with Lady Matlock, she was certain that Mr Bingley had left Jane due to the evil intervention of his sisters and Mr Darcy. She now had doubts that Mr Darcy was a cruel, arrogant man with no consideration for other’s feelings, who had ruined Mr Wickham’s life out of selfish jealousy.
One by one, all of the charges against him had fallen away. Mr Darcy had proved to be the one who helped Mr Bingley reunite with Jane, then he had described what had really happened with Mr Wickham. And all that time, he had shown nothing but amiability and friendliness to her relatives — and to her.
What troubled her exceedingly was the sensation that he treated her with special regard, for which she had no proof, just feelings. There were no words, no gestures to justify her imaginings; even more dangerous was the fact that she enjoyed those thoughts, that she found his company pleasant and was eager to see him again. Every time she saw him, her heart raced, and she feared she was suffering an infatuation that made her blind to reality. The notion that Mr Darcy might have feelings for her was absurd, of course. He was likely being amiable due to his friend’s situation and probably because his sister and aunt seemed to like Mrs Gardiner. Her wisdom advised her not toassume something that never could be, but the voice of wisdom was not always easy to follow.
“Lizzy, my dear, there is something that has troubled me for a while,” Mrs Gardiner said when they were ready to depart. “I cannot understand it, and neither can your uncle. Why is Mr Darcy so particularly attentive to us? Why has he called several times, had dinner with us twice, one on a special evening, and — even more shockingly — invited us to dinner at his home?”
“It is a little strange,” Elizabeth admitted, feeling her cheeks burning.
“I noticed your opinion of him has improved lately.”
“It has. All the reasons that led me to believe so ill of him are gone now. We are trying to be friends, especially now, after Jane’s engagement to Mr Bingley.”
“But still, his attention is far beyond a mere acquaintance, especially since he has not been friendly to your family before.”
“True…”
“I confess I have a suspicion that I hope to clarify tonight.”
“A suspicion?”
“Yes,” Mrs Gardiner said after a brief hesitation. “Lizzy, do you know or suspect any reason for Mr Darcy’s behaviour towards us?”
“I do not… I have asked myself too…but have found nothing plausible to explain his change of manners, except for our recent encounter with Miss Darcy and Lady Matlock.”
“What about something implausible?” Mrs Gardiner asked, scrutinising her.
“Nothing worthy of being discussed. May I ask about your suspicions?”
“Well, my dear, usually a gentleman who is single and in possession of a fortune only shows such attention when he admires a lady and wishes to gain her good opinion. In our case, however, Jane is engaged to his friend, and we were told he hadsuch a poor opinion of you as you have of him. You certainly understand my puzzlement.”
“It is puzzling.”
“So, either he is secretly in love with Jane — which, from my observation, is as likely as he is in love with me — or the subject of his interest is you, and we have been misled in everything we previously believed about him.”
Elizabeth’s face coloured, and she bit her lip, trying to form a reply.
“I honestly cannot offer an answer to your puzzlement, Aunt.”
“Very well. However, please indulge me with a response. If you are the object of Mr Darcy’s interest and he is trying to gain your attention, what would your opinion be?”
Elizabeth breathed deeply.
“My opinion is that, since I have come to know him better, Mr Darcy is one of the best gentlemen one could find. He is also exceedingly rich, with an excellent situation in life, with responsibilities and expectations placed upon him, who would never consider a wife outside his circle. That is why, regardless of what interest he might have, I shall not allow myself hopes that can only hurt and disappoint.”
“Oh…I see… Well, my dear, I do not know how to reply to that. I am sorry for ruining your disposition. I was selfish to introduce a subject that distressed you.”
“Do not worry, Aunt. All your questions I have already asked myself over the last few days,” Elizabeth said, attempting a smile.
During the entire ride through London, Elizabeth was thoughtful and silent. When they finally entered Darcy’s house, she was exceedingly disturbed. Her distraction increased when they were met by the master and Mr Bingley — who immediately stepped to his betrothed’s side. Mr Darcy offered Elizabeth his arm, which she took with surprise and emotion. She entered thehouse, looking around but barely seeing anything, too distracted by Mr Darcy’s presence. She had never been so close to him, and his nearness was disquieting in a way she had never felt before in the presence of any other man.
Lord and Lady Matlock, Colonel Fitzwilliam, and Mr Bingley were also present at dinner. Elizabeth knew too well that the invitation was a privilege that they could not have expected a fortnight ago. And again, the question of why persisted in her mind, yet all the explanations were frightening to admit.
