NINE
January 1812
The ride back to Netherfield, which he had left in a hurry two months ago, was difficult and disquieting.
Bingley had returned to his rented estate almost a month earlier, and since then, he had written regularly, which was quite unlike his former habits.
He was to marry Miss Jane Bennet in a fortnight, and since Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst were not with him, Darcy agreed to keep him company. Besides Bingley’s plea, the reason that induced him to abandon his plans in town was his longing for Elizabeth.
The news that she had left in haste, two days after the dinner party, had affected him deeply. The hope he had nurtured of being with her had made her departure painful; he had missed her when he had left Netherfield, but her loss had been unbearable this time, now he had accepted his feelings and desires and seen them suddenly shattered.
The dinner party had been a turning point in his life from many points of view. It was Elizabeth’s first visit to his house, which he had hoped was only the first step in her becoming a regular presence there. It was also an occasion that aroused Colonel Fitzwilliam, Lady Matlock, and Lord Matlock’s curiosity. If his cousin’s questions were posed privately, over a drink, his aunt and uncle had openly requested explanations for his apparent sudden partiality towards the Gardiners and their nieces. It was understandable, as they had all been under the impression that he disapproved of the Bennets and their relatives from Gracechurch Street. His arrogant behaviour had turned against him and required amends.
“I have already admitted several times that I was wrong in judging Bingley and Miss Bennet, as well as Miss Elizabeth and Mr and Mrs Gardiner,” Darcy had told his relatives. “I now recognise their worthiness and enjoy their company very much. There is nothing more to say.”
They were dissatisfied with his answer, but indeed there was nothing else to say. He would have willingly admitted his admiration for Elizabeth, but until he was certain of her feelings, there was no use in exposing her to the judgment and enquiries of his family. In Hertfordshire, it might be easier for him to find opportunities to speak to her in private. He was well aware of her pleasure in taking long walks, and he certainly could meet her on such an occasion.
Georgiana, Mrs Annesley, and the colonel were due to arrive at Netherfield a week later — a week prior to Bingley’s wedding. At the same time, Miss Bingley and the Hursts were expected, as well as the Gardiners. Georgiana had wished to visit Hertfordshire too, and he had agreed since the danger of a meeting with Wickham had now passed.
Wickham had left his regiment as suddenly as he had joined it after more news of his character became public. Apparently, Mrs Gardiner — being a clever lady — had gained her own information about the man from her relatives in Lambton. She had found out about Wickham’s seductions of young girls, his debts, and his creditors who were still chasing him — and Mrs Gardiner had immediately passed the information on to the Bennets. Mr Bennet had been so angry that, besides forbidding Wickham’s presence near his family — he had shared the knowledge with others in Meryton, including Colonel Forster. A confrontation had followed, which proved that Wickham had already run up many debts with his fellow officers and some with shops in Meryton. Consequently, Wickham had left, intending to leave the country. Of course, Wickham’s claimed intentions wererarely true; Darcy was well aware that, if Wickham truly wished to travel abroad, he would approach him and ask for money. Darcy would gladly purchase him a ticket on a ship bound for a far-off land, though he doubted Wickham could live honourably in a foreign country without support, since he was not capable of doing that in a place where he had all the support he needed.
Darcy arrived in Meryton on a cold, cloudy afternoon; there were few people on the streets, so he saw no acquaintances and continued his journey. He reached Netherfield before dinner and was welcomed by an exuberant Bingley. Strangely enough, Netherfield gave Darcy a warm feeling of family — of home. The first thing he recollected was the time he had spent there with Elizabeth, both during her stay and at the ball. His interpretation of those recollections was now different — a more humble and more realistic one but still warm and thrilling.
The following day, after breakfast, Darcy visited Longbourn for the first time, calling on the family he had criticised and avoided so many times in the past.
He was received politely yet coldly, as he knew he deserved, by everyone except Miss Jane Bennet, who greeted him warmly. And except for Elizabeth, who looked at him with an expression of heartfelt delight, which was impossible to miss and which brought a glimmer of joy to her pretty eyes and a smile to her lips.
“Mr Darcy! What a pleasure to have you here, sir!”
“I am delighted to be here, Miss Elizabeth. Exceedingly delighted,” he admitted and noticed a trace of red on her cheeks.
“Miss Darcy is in good health, I hope? And the colonel? Lord and Lady Matlock?”
“Everyone is well, thank you. My sister and cousin will arrive next week. They look forward to being here too.”
“Oh! The colonel is the son of the earl? And your sister? Will they come here? I just realised you have never been here before,Mr Darcy!” Mrs Bennet interjected. Near her, Mr Bennet looked at him attentively.
“Yes, they will both come. And I may say they are eager to make your acquaintance.”
“Our acquaintance? How wonderful! We look forward to meeting them too. I knew Jane’s marriage would bring all sorts of illustrious people to our home. Lady Lucas will die of envy, I am sure. She was proud that her daughter Charlotte had married Mr Collins, but now my daughter is marrying Mr Bingley, and Mr Darcy’s sister and cousin will come to visit us! Nobody in Meryton can compete with that!”
Darcy was amused but noticed Elizabeth’s embarrassment. Behind his wife, Mr Bennet rolled his eyes.”
“Mr Darcy, Mr Bingley, may I tempt you with a drink in the library?” the gentleman offered.
***
In the six days that followed, Darcy met Elizabeth daily, on various occasions. He and Bingley called at Longbourn, and he suggested Bingley propose a stroll in the garden, which only Miss Bennet and Elizabeth accepted. It was the first time he had the chance to talk to Elizabeth privately. He had intended to apologise for his past errors, but she spoke first.
“Mr Darcy, I have long desired to apologise for my unfair assumptions about you and Mr Wickham. I did so in my letter, but it needed to be done in person. I have no excuse for my foolishness. I believe I was blinded by prejudice and trusted a man who flattered me and my family and who made accusations against you, without asking for proof.”
“You, Miss Bennet, trusted a man who behaved kindly to you and your family, rather than one who was rude, arrogant, haughty, and ready to assume the worst. Nobody could blameyou for such a choice. At least I do not. How could you suspect anything since I failed to reveal the truth for a long time?”
“Your former behaviour, whilst not amicable, was no excuse for me being a simpleton.”
“Not amicable is too kind a description of a man who offended you at an assembly and played an ungenerous role in separating his friend from your sister. It was not my duty to judge or to advise. I did it out of arrogance, and I was wrong — again.”
“We seem to have many things to apologise to each other for, Mr Darcy,” Elizabeth said.
