Chapter 10
Elizabeth and Mrs. Gardiner arrived at Longbourn after three days on the road. Mr. Darcy’s servants who had accompanied them showed perfect efficiency. His valet was accustomed to the inns, likely from the frequent times he had travelled with his master, and he chose comfortable and clean places to stay overnight. During the day, they stopped every few hours to allow Mrs. Gardiner to rest her leg.
The journey was torture for Elizabeth. Her fear for Lydia combined with a deep sense of sorrow and regret for what she barely dared to imagine could have been if she had remained a few more days at Pemberley.
Her feelings tormented and confused her. In only a few days, her improved opinion of Mr. Darcy and remorse for how she had rejected him had turned into something so gripping and so deep that it completely devastated her. Now that she wished — more than anything else — for a marriage proposal, she began to imagine how Mr. Darcy must have felt when he offered for her and she called him the last man in the world she could be prevailed upon to marry.
The painting he had given her and his involvement and determination in her delicate family matter should mean that her hopes of felicity were not completely ruined. That his feelings for her were still tender could not be denied. His behaviour since they had met again at Pemberley proved that. Also, his regret and guilt for Mr. Wickham’s actions were obvious, and all that combined had induced him to take the trouble of going in search of the runaways.
But was it realistic to hope that he would renew his addresses? A man so proud, with such a situation in life, to askagain when he had been so fiercely rejected, especially when, to all the other flaws of the Bennets was added the stigma of Lydia’s elopement with his worst enemy? Would any man propose again under such circumstances? Would anyone forget and forgive such offences and overcome all the other obstacles? Was she even worthy of such devotion, considering all her errors in judgment?
She owned the greatest share of blame for Lydia’s imprudence. If she had been wiser and not trusted Mr. Wickham, if she had not spoken so highly of him and had not pitied him for his ‘misfortunes’ in front of her family, Lydia would likely not have been so charmed by that man and thrown away her entire life for him. Lydia was still a child, and a rather silly one, but she, Elizabeth, had been a complete fool.
In such turmoil, the two portraits from Mr. Darcy were her only consolation, but she only thought of them and did not look at them again, as she could not reveal them to her aunt. That would have only incited more questions which she was unwilling to answer.
When they finally reached Longbourn, they found true chaos. Mrs. Bennet spent her time crying, whining, blaming the entire world, and sharing reports of Mr. Wickham’s deceptions and depravations with her sister, Mrs. Phillips.
Mrs. Bennet was so distressed that the fact they had arrived in Mr. Darcy’s carriage went almost unnoticed. The servants who had accompanied them unloaded the luggage, then left for London immediately. While Elizabeth tried to comfort Jane, Mrs. Gardiner stepped in to take charge of the household.
“Dear sister, thank God my brother went to London to help Mr. Bennet! I fear the worst! That horrible man! I never liked him — I told the girls to stay away from him, but they never listen to me! Nobody ever listens to me!”
“Sister, you must calm down. We must try to bear the situation and hope that things will not end up being as bad as we fear now. We are fortunate to have Mr. Darcy’s support, which is invaluable. I am sure they will be found soon.”
“Mr. Darcy? Who cares about him? We all know that he despises us — he did not even want to dance with Lizzy at the Meryton assembly! I am sure he does not care if we suffer the most dreadful fate! I blame him too! If he had not refused to give Mr. Wickham that living, he would be a clergyman in God knows where, and he would not have eloped with my daughter!”
“Sister, please do not say things that might cause more harm,” Mrs. Gardiner said, trying and failing to temper her.
“I am telling the truth, Sister. And, speaking of clergymen, if Lizzy had married Mr. Collins, as she should have, we would not be suffering so much! We would at least not be homeless if Mr. Bennet dies! But I fear he will call Mr. Wickham out, and he will be killed in a duel!”
“I am sure there will be no duel, Sister,” Mrs. Gardiner responded. “Let us eat and then rest — we are all too tired to think properly.”
Later that evening, Elizabeth had the chance to talk to her sister in their chamber, and only then did Jane begin sobbing, relating the awful moment when they had received the dreadful news.
“Dear Lizzy, I felt terrible for insisting you not expose Mr. Wickham! But I comfort myself by hoping he loves her. He must love her — why else would he elope with her? She has no money, no connections, nothing to tempt him…”
“Dearest, I am glad you can find something to comfort you, but this cannot be true. Neither of us ever observed any partiality on his side — nor on hers! I believe he needed to leave in haste and took Lydia with him because she happened to be willing.”
“Lizzy!”
“Sadly, that is the horrible truth, Jane. I doubt Mr. Wickham will marry her unless he gains some advantages — which Papa certainly cannot offer him.”
“Dear Lord…”
“We must accept the truth, dearest, and prepare for the consequences of Lydia’s actions. Our entire family will be affected, and only a few honourable people will want to be connected with us from now on. We must learn to take care of ourselves.”
“But Lizzy, what about Mr. Darcy? Aunt said he is helping Mr. Gardiner?”
“Yes…we were at Pemberley when the letters arrived...”
“I know. I read your letter, and I confess I was shocked. Considering your past disagreements, I did not expect Mr. Darcy to show so much amiability and generosity.”
“I was equally shocked, Jane. I assumed he would never wish to speak to me again and would avoid me as his worst enemy. But he was so kind, so friendly, so considerate…”
Elizabeth became emotional, and Jane caressed her hand. “He must still love you, Lizzy…”
“He surely does not hate me…”
“And you? Do you still hate him?”
