Chapter 13
As she walked at a fast pace, she tried to calm herself and be reasonable. There was a chance that he had not understood her suggestion and might not come until, as he had told her father. And if he did come, it would surely not be at that early hour. She had enough time to compose herself and to prepare what she wished to say to him and to ask him.
At the edge of the Longbourn estate, she was about to turn when a voice calling to her made her feet still and her heart race.
“Miss Bennet!”
“Mr. Darcy…”
“I did not expect you to come so early,” he said.
“Likewise.”
“It seems we do not know each other well enough to have reasonable expectations,” he said.
“Sometimes surprises are pleasant, would you not agree?”
“I do agree, Miss Bennet. I cannot forget the most wonderful surprise when I saw you at Pemberley.”
“My surprise was just the same when I saw you at Longbourn yesterday, sir.”
“But surely you must have known that I would come.”
“I did know…I hoped…but it had been a while, and I feared…”
“I had some business to complete before I came to speak to you again,” he said. “Some business that was better resolved before rather than after.”
“I know what sort of business kept you busy, sir, and even if you refuse to listen, I must say it. I must thank you for your extraordinary generosity shown to my family and to my poor sister Lydia. The daunting and exhausting effort in finding them,the outrageous amount of money spent — it cannot ever be repaid.”
He looked at her intently, and she continued, “Please do not be upset. Papa told me, but I am the only one in the family who knows everything.”
“I did not expect Mr. Bennet would betray me so quickly,” Mr. Darcy said. “I might reconsider my invitation to Pemberley,” he added, and the trace of a smile in his voice softened his words.
“Papa felt guilty, blamed himself for everything, and he wished me to know the true extent of your involvement….and I believe he was curious. He could not understand why you would show such extraordinary generosity to someone who was almost a stranger to you. He asked me, but I could not tell him either. I have long waited to ask you, Mr. Darcy.”
The gentleman averted his eyes, while she looked at him, waiting anxiously. She witnessed his struggle until he finally found the words to voice it.
“Even if your father cannot understand, I hope you do, Miss Bennet. I hope you know that I did it mostly for you. As much as I was worried for your family and willing to punish Wickham, my strongest inducement was to relieve the sadness in your eyes. I did not want you to know, precisely because gratitude is not the feeling I hoped for and not the word I wished to hear from you.”
Now his gaze deepened into hers, and Elizabeth’s eyes moistened with tears. She stepped closer as she replied, “Gratitude must be said and felt, Mr. Darcy. But it is only one of the many feelings and words I have for you. That is why I practically forced you to come here at this hour. I could wait no longer for this meeting, for this discussion.”
There was so much she could read on his handsome face that she was tempted to caress it. But she did not dare yet.
“And speaking of being forced, I am sorry that Mr. Bingley and Papa forced you to invite them to Pemberley. It was not fair to allow you no choice to refuse,” she tried to jest.
“Do not worry, it was quite fair, Miss Bennet. I am perfectly capable of refusing when I wish to. I gladly invited your father, but I could not be sure of what position he would have there.”
“Position?”
“Yes. Would he be a mere guest or something more? That depends entirely on you.”
“Oh! If the decision is entirely mine, it should be an easy one,” she answered. He was still hesitant, so she stretched out her hands and he took his. Her fingers rested in his strong and warm palms, trembling slightly.
“It is entirely yours, Miss Bennet. My decision was made long ago, and my feelings and desires are well known to you. I have just learnt to better repress them and be more cautious in the way I express them.”
“Please do not repress them, Mr. Darcy. There is no need to be cautious any longer.”
“Then…would you allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you, my dearest Elizabeth?”
