Mr. Darcy's Devotion
One
Darcy put aside the letter; he knew he was still wearing a smile on his lips. Bingley’s handwriting was as careless as ever, perhaps even more so considering his obvious happiness and eagerness regarding his upcoming marriage.
Unlike in the past, Bingley now wrote often, keeping his friend informed about the preparations for the wedding and all the changes he was making to accommodate his soon-to-be wife.
Bingley’s joy gave Darcy some comfort for the guilt that had troubled him since last April when Elizabeth had accused him of separating Bingley from Miss Jane Bennet. He realised he had almost ruined his friend’s chance of happiness, but fortunately, fate, as well as Bingley and Miss Bennet’s kind hearts, had diminished the damage of his arrogance.
Bingley’s letters had yet another reason to please Darcy: they contained a few — yet so satisfying — details about Elizabeth, who was of course always in her sister’s company. Every time Bingley mentioned his betrothed, there was something added about Elizabeth, whom Bingley called ‘a true sister to him’. Poor Bingley; compared to the selfishness and nastiness of his ownsisters — who were still trying to sabotage his engagement — Elizabeth must be a real palliation.
The recollections of Elizabeth at Pemberley were certainly a palliation for him, Darcy thought. Georgiana had been immediately charmed by her too, and if not for that blackguard Wickham, things might have been different.
Even the name of his enemy enraged Darcy. No, he could not even be called an enemy; he was simply worthless. His last deception — the elopement with Miss Lydia Bennet — had certainly distressed Elizabeth, but it had tormented Georgiana too.
As difficult as it has been, Darcy had chosen to reveal the truth to his sister before the unwelcome wedding took place. He feared she might find out by accident, and likely her suffering would have been even deeper.
Witnessing Georgiana’s shock and turmoil was unbearable and added more to his resentment towards Wickham. That the scoundrel had become part of the Bennet family was another obstacle atop all the other reasons which should have kept him away from Elizabeth. And yet, nothing could keep him away from her when he first proposed at the Parsonage, and nothing would keep him away from her now, except his doubts in regard to her true feelings and how she might respond to a second offer.
When he had returned to Netherfield with Bingley and had seen her again, Elizabeth had looked different from how he remembered her at Pemberley. But he was probably different too. He had wished to speak to her but had found no opportunity during his short stay. He did not dare assume her opinion of him had changed and in what way. He hoped it had, but he had been wrong in his estimation before, so he chose to be prudent — even fearful — with his hopes and expectations.
He planned to return to Hertfordshire for Bingley’s wedding. That stay would be short too, as he intended to depart on thewedding day; Bingley would surely wish to be alone with his wife on his wedding night!
A thought crossed his mind, causing him further distress. A few months ago, as he walked towards the Parsonage on his way to propose to Elizabeth, he had imagined his wedding night. But what had followed had been many nights not of love and passion but of torture.
“Brother?” he heard a soft voice calling.
“Yes, dearest. Do come in.”
“I do not wish to bother you.”
“You never do.”
His sister entered timidly and sat on the sofa close to his desk.
“Brother, I am going for a walk, and I might call on my aunt and uncle. Cousin Geoffrey is at home too. Will you not join me?”
“Is Mrs. Annesley unable to accompany you?”
“She plans to come too, but I fear you are alone too much, Brother. You have barely left the house in weeks. I can see you are unwell. That you are upset…”
“My dear, I am not upset. I am preoccupied, I admit. But please do not worry.”
“I do worry. I have not seen you smile since we were at Pemberley…when Miss Bennet and Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner visited.”
“I am quite sure I have smiled a few times since then,” he tried to joke.
“Hardly… Have you decided when you will return to Hertfordshire?”
“In a fortnight. A week before the wedding.”
“What would you say to me coming with you?” Georgiana asked, taking him by surprise.
“Coming with me? To Hertfordshire?”
“If you do not mind. Mr. Bingley invited me to visit Netherfield when we last met. And I assume Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner will be there too. I would be happy to see them again…as well as Miss Bennet.”
“I certainly do not mind…but I thought it would be too much trouble for you. I shall not stay more than a week. And there will be quite a bustle there before the wedding.”
