She loved when it wasn’t easy.
And she gave me everything good in me
“Hey, Mama. God, I miss you so much. I need you today. I’ve needed you for a while now. I know you spent many nights hiding your fear from me and that once I got married, you were worried I was like him. You were too strong for your own good. You were too good for us. We never deserved your unconditional love, and I’m grateful every day.” I bow my head, my tears dripping into the dirt.
“She’s perfect, Ma. She’s everything you wanted for me. But she had a man like Phillip, and she’s a little lost. I want to be worthy of her. I want to earn her love, the way he neverearned yours. I want to deserve it. I wish you were here to tell me what to do.”
I sit in front of the granite stone until the air starts to cool and the sun begins its descent below the horizon. Standing, I brush my pants off and lay a hand on her name, rubbing it with my fingertips.
“I love you, Mama. I will be a better man, for you. For her.”
Turning, I walk away, newly resolved to endeavor to earn her love.
Chapter 22
To Be With You
Cash
Callie has been radio silent since Sunday. It feels like something has changed, but I don’t know what.
I texted her on Sunday night— ‘I can still taste you on my tongue.’ Nothing.
I texted her on Monday—‘Want to grab lunch this week? Or you can come out to the ranch and see my buckles?’ Still nothing.
By Tuesday, I’m starting to panic.
Hurricane, did I do something? I thought, well, I thought it was perfect. Talk to me.
Callie
No, you didn’t do anything.
Then silence again.
Wednesday, I don’t text her. I stop by Waylon’s after work and Duke isbehind the bar.
“Hey, Duke.” I give him a smile; he doesn’t return it. What the hell is wrong with everyone? Is there something in the water?
“What’s wrong, man?” I ask him when he puts the beer in front of me.
“Nothing, just figuring shit out.”
“Since when is being a grumpy asshole to me you ‘figuring shit out’?” His eyes darken at my words and I have no idea where I mis-stepped, but clearly, I said something.
“I’m not grumpy, I’m just dealing with shit. Not everything is for you, Cash. Fuck!” He throws a beer bottle into the sink, causing it to shatter.
“Woah, what the fuck? You seriously just threw that bottle?”
Duke has always been hyper aware of his temper. His dad did a number on him, and he’s worried someone will think he’s like Phil.
He drops his head, swearing.
“Sorry. Women will really mess everything up. They just blow in like a storm and set your world on fire. Then, tell you they are talking to someone else. And it’s fucking with my head. I just want—I don’t know.” He blows out a breath and pulls the tequila from the wall, throwing back a shot. Then another. “Do you think it’s possible to keep seeing someone after they tell you they are talking to someone else? Like, be understanding that you’re not the only one?” he asks me, looking desperate for help.
“Is she cheating on you?” I respond, already angry on his behalf.
He shakes his head. “No, we never even had a discussion about what we were or whatever. It’s new, you know? We only hooked up once and it was like—” His eyes widen, almost to the point of it being funny. “I’ve never experienced anything like it.But after, she changed. Then she told me it’s because she can’t give me all of herself. And she’s trying to figure it out.”
