Fuck, that hurt. I knew he’d been with other women while all I wanted was for him to want me. Hearing he’d ignored me to fuck other women, even though I half expected it, still stung.
“But they never meant anything. Most of them were escorts I paid for the night. They didn’t matter to me. I just… wanted to stop wanting you. But it was impossible.”
“Okay,” I said, voice tight.
A heavy silence fell between us until he broke it, nudging me to pick a question.
“Do you want children?”
My heart exploded at that. Panic rose in my chest, convinced he’d see straight through me and actually knew that I wascarrying his child. But I wasn’t ready to share that, not yet. I needed things to be clear on my end before telling him.
“Uh… yeah… one day,” I stammered.
“I mean, specifically, would you want to have kids with me?”
If there were any pieces of my heart left, that was the moment they shattered.
“We might get divorced, Konflict. I’m not really thinking about having your kid right now. Hell, we’ve never even had a real relationship that’d make me want to picture a family. So for now, no.”
He looked down, a bit hurt.
“Right. I get it. But if I could make you want something real, with me, would you ever want to build that family? Have kids?”
God, he was so damn vulnerable as if I could crush every hope he had with one word. And having a man like Konflict vulnerable was something I never expected.
“You said we had to be honest, so I’ll say it and I hope it answers your question. Before the Big Six council forced us to marry, I had a massive crush on you. I used to dream of being your wife and giving you kids. But this last year of marriage destroyed all of that, and I stopped imagining having kids with you. So I don’t know what I’ll want tomorrow. We’ll see. If things change, maybe. Or maybe I’ll still never want to deal with you.”
His gaze pierced me, deeply, and filled me with both sadness and hope. I didn’t want to pretend everything was fixed, or that I’d forgiven him and wanted a family now. Because that wasn’t true. He’d hurt me and I still felt that pain.
“Okay. So that’s a maybe. I’ll do everything I can to get you to a yes because to me, you are the mother of my children, Serenity. I’m sorry again for screwing things up, but I’m determined to show you that life with me is worth it.”
His words hit me, but I fought to keep my face neutral. Luckily, Konflict didn’t dwell.
“All right, my next question: When and why did you get the Venus planet tattoo over your heart?”
He looked up at me.
“I always watched you from afar. If I couldn’t talk to you, I still wanted to know everything—your life, your friends, what made you laugh or cry. I hated every guy who made you smile when I couldn’t. When you started calling yourself Venus in college, I got it—you wanted a name with your family’s letter. I thought it suited you, but I didn’t want any other guy calling you that. So I made sure they used Serenity, and I was the only one who could ever say Venus. Since I never got to say it to you, I tattooed it over my heart.”
“What?” I blurted, surprised by his words. “You told all the guys around me not to call me Venus? Is that why no man ever used that name, even when I introduced myself that way?”
“Yup, and I’m proud of it. If I had to do it again, I would.”
“You’re insane.”
“Yeah, but you loved me anyway, didn’t you?”
I ran a hand over my face to hide my smile. He was insane, but I must be toxic as hell myself if my heart was racing over something so possessive. God, what’s wrong with me?
We spent the whole evening asking each other questions about our lives, our families, the things we liked. He asked a lot about my time with his mother. His eyes lit up every time I talked about her. I could tell she was the person he loved most in the world. And honestly, she was that for me too. Somehow, the love we both had for Kate Korven echoed between us and actually brought us closer.
He asked about my passion for flowers, and just like when I talked about his mom, I couldn’t help but get excited. If my father hadn’t forced me into business management, I would’ve gone for horticulture because every time I’m around flowers, it’s the only time I really feel alive.
“I really wanted to give you flowers that day,” he said, remembering that night at Vixen’s. “I fucked up bad, though. I had no idea what white lilies meant. Hell, I never paid attention to that on my mother’s grave either. Even the florist gave me a weird look when I told him to send you a dozen. Imagine my shock when you wanted to shoot my dick off for sending you funeral flowers. Shit, I thought you were gonna kill me that day.”
I burst out laughing because the look on his face instantly took me back. I was so angry, I really did want to kill him.
“Thank God I had no idea you were Knox at that point. Otherwise, I’d have at least put a bullet in your foot.”
