Charlene shook her head.“You’re remembering him with the eyes of a child.Perhaps Adam had offered youhissoul and you didn’t notice.”
“I loved him.I would have noticed.”
Charlene watched her closely.The wrinkles around her eyes and mouth had been formed by smiles rather than displeasure.Heavy makeup and the brightly colored hair couldn’t disguise her softhearted nature.“Tell me about Billie.”
Jane chuckled.“I’d like to tell you I’ve done a fine job with her, but I can’t take the credit.Billie is…Billie.”
“Her father’s daughter?”
“Sometimes,” she admitted, remembering the first time her child had looked at her with Adam’s defiant gaze.The pain had been unexpected but she welcomed the connection with the man she had once loved.“I see him in her eyes.”She moved to the bed and resumed her seat.“But Billie is so full of life and Adam—he’s notanything.It’s as if I’m an old acquaintance who has shown up for a weekend visit.”
“What did you expect?”
Jane glanced down at Charlene’s hands clasped in her lap.A few more age spots marred the pale skin, some wrinkles bunched at the knuckles, but other than that, these were the hands she remembered from her youth.The shiny rings glittered, the bracelets tinkled and rattled.
“I thought he’d hate me,” she said at last, voicing the fear that had dogged her since leaving the West Coast.
“For nine years?Everyone has to let go sometime.Change.You did.Perhaps he did as well.”
“He never married.”
“That’s true.”Charlene glanced at her.“But he has been involved with several women.Adam is many things, but not a saint.Or a martyr.He didn’t wait for you, Jane.That I am sure of.”
“I know.”
The lie sat heavily on her tongue.Logically, sheknewhe hadn’t, but there had been a tiny piece inside her heart, the spot where dreams hid.Every year Charlene had sent a letter in her Christmas card to Jane’s mother.Every year there had been no mention of Adam marrying.It didn’t mean anything, she told herself, even as she dared to wonder if it did.
“You’ll want me to keep quiet for now?”Charlene asked, smoothing a hand over her hair.
“I just need a little time.”
“Don’t take too long.He’ll figure it out on his own, and if he doesn’t, someone from town will.Better for him and Billie if he hears it from you.”
Jane again fought the guilt that filled her with empty sadness.“There’s a lot at stake.I could lose Billie.”
“Never that.”The older woman smiled.“She’ll always be your daughter.And there’s so much you could gain.Adam—”
“Mo-om, I’m shriveling up in here,” Billie called from the bathroom.
“I’m coming.”She picked up the nightgown and walked into the bathroom.“All clean?”
“I’m a prune.”
Billie stepped out of the tub and into the fluffy towel Jane held for her.She wrapped the terry cloth around her child’s body and began to rub.The scent of soap and freshly cleaned little girl tickled her nose.
“I love you, honey,” she said, giving her a squeeze.
Billie eyed her suspiciously.“I heard you talking to someone.You aren’t planning anything awful, are you?Not like those singing lessons?”
“No singing lessons,” she promised.
“Good.Then I love you, too.”
“Little girls shouldn’t barter their affection.May I come in?”Charlene hovered outside the door.
“Sure.”Billie brushed her bangs out of her eyes.“I wasn’t bartering, I was checking.She always wants me to do girl stuff.Yuk.”
“Perhaps because you are a girl,” Charlene said.
