He swore.She heard him slide on the step, then felt his hands on her arms, pulling her close.He angled their bodies so that her head rested on his shoulder.Their legs touched, from hip to knee.She clutched at his T-shirt, bunching the soft fabric in her hands.The tears continued, replenished by the aching in her heart.
“I’m s-sorry,” she said, her voice cracking with a sob.“So sorry, Adam.I l—loved you so much.I never wanted to hurt you.Or B-Billie.I was afraid for her, I swear.”
“I know.Hush.”He enfolded her in his strength, rocking back and forth while she cried.The minutes passed.She struggled for control.Finally the tears subsided.
She sniffed and forced herself to straighten.Unshed tears darkened his brown eyes.His words earlier in the day—his speech about stolen time and memories missed—had made her feel bad, but she hadn’t had the chance to really think about what he was saying.Now, seeing him emotionally exposed for the first time in her life, she felt what he felt and knew that her crime was far greater than she’d imagined.It hadn’t been a speech.Hehadlost all those times she’d taken for granted.And even meeting Billie now couldn’t make up for that.She’d cheated them both.It didn’t matter if he couldn’t forgive her; she’d never forgive herself.
He cupped her face and brushed away her tears with his thumbs.“Where do we go from here?”he asked, repeating his earlier question.
“I wish I knew.”
His touch comforted her.She didn’t deserve it, but couldn’t bring herself to pull away.Still, when Adam straightened, she forced herself to smile slightly and wipe her face.
“I guess we should tell Billie,” she said, shifting on the step.
“What is she going to say?”
“I don’t know.”Jane thought for a moment.“She’ll be happy about getting a dad.She’s wanted one since she figured out most kids have two parents.But she’ll be angry that I lied to her.”
“She’ll get over it.”
She smoothed her skirt over her knees.“That depends on you.Are you going to say things?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Are you going to tell her that I’m the worst mother since the invention of the institution, that I’ve deprived her of her birthright and family?”She closed her eyes and waited.
“You must think I’m a real bastard.”
Now it was her turn to be surprised.“No.Why would you think that?”
He shook his head.“You don’t have a very high opinion of me.”
“You’re still angry and I thought you might—”
“I don’t plan to bad-mouth you to Billie.She’s the innocent one in all this.She might be pleased to take my side at first, but in the end it would only confuse her.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m not doing it for you.”
Right.She couldn’t allow herself to forget that.
“What about her name?”he asked.
“You don’t like Billie?”
“Herlastname.You didn’t give her mine.”
“I didn’t want you to know.It would have been pretty obvious if I’d named her Belle Charlene Barrington.”
He sprang to his feet.“You named her Belle Charlene?After Aunt Charlene?”
“Yes.Is that okay?”
He jammed his hands into his pockets.“I don’t even know my kid’s name.”
Jane wanted to bite off her tongue.She’d already hurt him enough—couldn’t she stop saying things without thinking?“Adam, I—”
