She ran out without looking back.
He breathed a sigh of relief.The conversation had been anticlimactic at best, but had gone better that he’d hoped.
“She handled that very well,” he said.
“I don’t think so.”Jane stared after her daughter.Her makeup couldn’t hide her sudden lack of color or the stricken expression in her eyes.
What had he missed?Panic threatened.“Why do you say that?”
“Billie is bright and inquisitive.At the very least I thought she’d ask how I knew you were her father.Which would lead to…well, you know.But she hardly said a word.”
“Would you have preferred her to get upset?”
Jane moved her cup along the edge of the tiles.“I think so.She doesn’t understand what we told her.Not really.That will come later.I hope—” she sighed “—I hope she can forgive me.”
“For what?”
“You were right last night.I lied to her, for her whole life.I wouldn’t talk about her father.It would have been one thing if I hadn’t known where he was, but I knew you were here.She’s going to figure that out.”
He felt vaguely uncomfortable.He didn’t want to hear Jane’s side of the story; he only wanted to be angry at her.Besides, if the truth were told, he didn’t mind if Billie was irritated with hermother for a couple of days.“Maybe you should have thought about that when you chose to stay away all those years.You only have yourself to blame.”
* * *
The long morning got longer.Jane glanced out the kitchen window and saw Billie sitting under their chestnut tree.The girl had been there for almost an hour.The only time Billie stayed still voluntarily was when she was sick.Even asleep she tossed and turned like a puppy having a dream.
Jane pushed opened the back door and walked down the steps.When she reached the shade, she knelt on the grass and laced her fingers together on her lap.
“How you doing?”she asked.
“Okay.”Billie turned her softball over and over in her hand.The bill of her cap hid most of her face.
“You want to play catch?”
“I don’t think so.I’ll just sit here.”
“Do you have any questions?”
“Uh-uh.”
Now what?Jane wondered.“We gave you a lot to think about.”
Billie nodded.“Is Adam really my dad?”
“Yes.”
“Are you divorced from him?”
Jane grimaced.She hadn’t seen that one coming.“No, honey.Adam and I didn’t get married.”
Billie looked up.Her mouth twisted as she wrinkled her nose.It was her I-can’t-solve-this-problem expression.“Don’t you have to be married to have a baby?”
“Not always.Adam and I were going to get married.But then we decided we shouldn’t.”It wasn’t exactly a lie, she told herself.Besides, the truth was difficult forherto understand, let alone an eight-year-old.
Billie rolled her ball along the ground.It stopped in front of Jane and she rolled it back.“You didn’t marry Adam, but you had me, anyway?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
