It was easier this way, she thought, closing her eyes and resting her head against his chest.His cotton shirt felt warm and smooth against her cheek.She inhaled the scent of him.Better not to see the emotions in his eyes.Or worse, to see the shutters closing her out.
“I came back because it was time I stopped thinking only of myself.I took the risk because Billie deserves a father in her life and you deserve your daughter.I love her.She loves me.I have to trust that love to last through this.And if it doesn’t…” She didn’t allow herself to visualize that scenario.“I can’t make her care if she doesn’t want to.”
“Sounds dangerous to me.”
She could see why he would think that.After all, his parents had died when he’d been quite young.The next big relationship in his life had ended when she’d run off.No wonder Adam had his doubts about the strength of love.
“You’re going to have to trust me on this one,” she said.
“That’s a big order,” he said quietly.
She squeezed her eyes shut against the pain.She deserved the comment, but it still hurt.
“I didn’t mean that the way it came out,” he said.
“Yes, you did.”
He stepped away from her and walked to the other side of the kitchen.The physical rejection hurt almost as much as his words had, but she forced herself to stand upright and not let it show.The hard part was that she felt as raw and exposed as an open wound.The broken promises, fears and lies from their past might never be overcome.And then what?
From the window, he could see out into her backyard.“Look at her,” he said.
Jane walked over to stand next to him.She glanced out.Billie had a bucketful of softballs on the ground next to her and was pitching them through an old tire he’d hung in the yard.Her running commentary was barely audible through the glass.
“What are we going to do about all of this?”he asked, as if he could read her mind.“Where do we go from here?”
“I haven’t a clue.”
* * *
“Mom said she’d rather bake something, but there wasn’t time, so we’re having store-bought dessert.”Billie leaned closer to Adam and lowered her voice.“I love my mom’s cookies and stuff, but sometimes it’s fun to have it from the store.They have that thick icing she doesn’t like me to have.”
No doubt about it, Adam thought as he returned her grin, Belle Charlene Barrington was a charmer.
“Did she let you pick it out?”
“Uh-huh.German chocolate cake.”She licked her lips.“I took a taste of the icing before.It’s great.”
“I’m sure.”He rose to his feet and collected their plates.
Dinner had gone better than he’d hoped.Despite the awkwardnessbetween him and Jane, conversation had been lively at the table.With Billie around, there wasn’t much fear of silence.So far she seemed to have accepted him with few reservations, although she did stick close to her mother.Charlene had told him it was perfectly natural in a child her age.He had to bow to her superior wisdom in this area.Funny, Jane was worried about losing Billie, while he was concerned about not being accepted.They were both afraid.
Billie picked up the empty bowl that had contained the pasta.
“Have you got that?”he asked.“Is it too heavy?”
She rolled her eyes.“I’m not a kid.”
“Oh?What are you?”
She wrinkled her nose.“Okay,maybeI’m a kid, but I’m not a little one.”
“Point taken.”He held open the swinging door to the kitchen, and she ducked under his arm.
“Are you going to live with us?”Billie asked.
Even though he’d been worried about her handling the heavy glass bowl, he was the one who almost dropped the dishes he carried.He stepped into the kitchen and sought Jane’s gaze.She looked about as startled as he felt.
“Live with you?”he repeated.
