“She doesn’t.I promise.Billie thinks the world of you.”
“It’s not enough.”
He stared into the darkness.There had to be a solution.“Adam, please.She’s just a little girl.She often says things that she doesn’t—”
“Marry me.”
“What?”
He hadn’t meant to say that, but now that he had, it felt right.He leaned over her and brushed her lips with his fingers.“Marry me, Jane Southwick.Live with me in the big house.Be my wife.”
He hadn’t planned the proposal enough to have formed thoughts on her reaction, but he never expected her to jump out of bed and glare at him as if he’d suggested something disgusting.
“How dare you?”she asked in a low cold voice.“That is the cruelest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“I asked you to marry me.”
She walked over to the closet and pulled out a robe.After slipping it on and tying the belt tight, she clicked on the lamp on the nightstand.Her hazel eyes flashed with fire and something that might have been pain.
“Why?”she asked.“Why do you want to marry me?”
“Because—” He paused.“It’s the right thing to do.”
“No!”Her hands closed into fists.“Damn it, no!Not that, Adam, please.Tell me you love me.Tell me you can’t live without me.Tell me—” She sighed and collapsed onto the edge of the bed.“Tell me anything but that,” she whispered.
“I do need you.”He moved behind her and took her in his arms.“Please, Jane.You’ve got to understand.All of this.It’s too—”
“Too what?”She spun out of his embrace.“Too scary?For me, too.I’m terrified.It’s almost like those nine years neverhappened.We’re still connected with each other.But those nine years are real.I’m not that frightened girl who ran away.I’m all grown up.I know what I want.”
And it’s not you.She didn’t have to say the words; they echoed loudly enough already.He’d lost.It didn’t matter how or why, but it was over.He rose and walked to the window.Keeping his back to her, so she couldn’t see how much it hurt, he asked, “Whatdoyou want?”
“You.”
He couldn’t have heard her correctly.
“Then why—”
“I love you, Adam.I’ve never stopped loving you.I had to leave to find out everything I needed was right here at home.”
Hope flared inside of him.He turned to face her.“Then—”
“No.”She shook her head.“It’s not that easy.You don’t trust me.”
“That’s crazy.”
“Is it?You want to marry me to keep me from running away again.And I’ll bet it has something to do with forcing Billie to be with you as well.That doesn’t sound like you trust us very much.”She stood up.Her gaze traveled from the top of his head to his feet.He stood naked before her and prayed that she would find him enough.She didn’t.“I could probably forgive you for not trusting me, if you loved me.”
“I—” He couldn’t say the words.
“See.”Her smile was sad.“You never told me then, and you can’t say it now.You won’t risk loving me, because it’s the final risk.Everyone you’ve loved has left you.”
She walked over to him and touched his chest.“Here, in your heart.This is where I want to be.But you won’t let me in.You won’t trust me enough to stay.You won’t love me enough to give me the chance to prove I’m not going anywhere.”
“You’re wrong.”
“Am I?”She smiled sadly.“Tell me you trust me.”
“I trust you.”
