I consider taking the stairs but we’re on the fucking 44th floor.
The elevator is faster, even though it feels like it’s suddenly moving at an ancient glacial snail’s pace.
When it finally arrives at the lobby I squeeze through the doors as they’re opening and run toward the front entrance of my building.
Two people are coming in.
I don’t even recognize them at first. My doormen? I should fucking fire them! Why didn’t they stop her? But they’re not even working at this time of night. I didn’t think she’d leave me. I never imagined in a million years she’d walk out on me. Because we’re meant for each other. She’s mine.
But I’ve failed. I couldn’t keep her here.
It’s a mistake I will never, ever make again.
“Dally?”
The nickname jars me out of my white-hot desperation for a split second.
My brothers. They have the door code.
In my enraged, heart-broken mania, instead of huggingthem, I grab the fronts of their shirts in both my fists. “She fucking left me. I have to find her.”
They’re both wide-eyed, any amusement overridden by alarm at the state of me. “The girl you disappeared with for a month?” Apollo’s blue eyes are round with concern, at my crazy behavior. Eyes that look almost shockingly, in the moment, like our mother’s. Because of her, we know all too well about crazy behavior, so I guess it makes sense for them to be concerned.
“Duh,” Boone replies to Apollo’s question. “We’re here for you, bro. We’re going to help you find her.”
I stare at him blindly and barely nod. Some deep corner of my soul is overjoyed to see them—they’re mybrothersand I don’t get to see them enough—but all I can register right now is that “I have to find her.”I run out the door with Apollo and Boone following close behind me.
There’s no car waiting.
Where the fuck is my fucking driver? I remember I told him I’d let him know when we were ready to go out tonight. Which I assumed would be an hour from now, at least. I was planning on taking some time before we went out to… kiss her. Get my fix. Until she was coming around me and I was spilling myself inside her again, doing everything in my power to fuckingbreedher. Because I love her so much and all I want to do is keep her.
Fuck fuck fuckfuckFUCK.
Please don’t be hurt. Please don’t be scared.
Where the fuck are you, Boo?
I run out into the street to hail a cab, which honks at me, swerving around me before another one pulls up to the curb. I get in and my brothers scramble in next to me.
“Where to?” asks the driver.
It’s a good question. My brain, which I’ve always considered a reasonably good one, stalls. It reaches for any clue, any morsel of information that might help me. I don’t have Sadie’s number. Did Sadie mention where her sister lives? Queens, she said. But they were going out tonight. To a club.
And there, a glimmer of a memory. I was pissed off. I coerced Amelie into waiting for me. She finally promised me. And she was explaining Sadie’s plan.She texted me about going shopping then out to a club tonight with her sister. Something about the East Village.
“The East Village,” I yell, like I’ve just solved some cryptic puzzle that has the power to save the world. And I have. At least,myworld.
“Any particular address?” the taxi driver wisecracks, but we’re pulling away from the curb now. We’re getting closer to her.Fucking fuck.I feel like a fish out of water. Like I’m not getting enough air because Amelie Thibodeaux isout there somewhere and I don’t fucking know where.
“A club.” I glance at Apollo, then Boone, digging deeper for more clues.It’s this club with a Caribbean vibe her sister wants to show her.“What club in the East Village has a Caribbean vibe?” Thank fuck for Sadie and her overzealous descriptions.
Apollo shrugs. “I don’t really go to clubs. I get mobbed.”
“I know the one,” Boone says, and I almost hug him. “There are four good clubs in the East Village and they’re all within a few blocks of each other. Two of them have that tropical theme, but one more than the other.” Boone googles it and gives the driver an address. “We’ll start there.”
Thank you thank you thank you.
Please be there, baby. Please.
