Unlike the sudden surge from before, Rowan leaned in toward Milo slowly and pressed their lips together with a soft brushbefore deepening it with a meeting of tongues. Like their first kiss, Milo's sensors were ready to issue a warning when he was flooded with sensations that told his systems he was intoxicated, overheated, broken. But if this was what that felt like, maybe he was meant to be broken.
The negative emotions he had been experiencing were gone within their embrace, and in their stead was… relief again. Arousal again. And…
Affection?
Yes. There could be no other word for it. Stronger words existed, but for now, Milo could be certain that he cared for Rowan very much, and he enjoyed his company, his touch, and his kiss.
When they parted, all Milo wanted was another.
“It is getting late,” Rowan whispered, lingering closer to Milo but starting to distance himself first with words, and then, eventually, with a slow lean back. “It’s not quite bedtime, however. I’d really like to look over my research for a while, get another prototype surge protector made, and you could spend that time preparing for your work on Anabelle.”
A logical suggestion. Milo had never thought he would be annoyed by logic, as it made up the primary sequence of his systems, yet he did believe that was what he was feeling. Where emotion played a role, logic didn’t always seem to fit. “I can do that,” he said regardless, for his next words were also the truth. “I do want to help Ethel and Anabelle.”
“I know you do,” Rowan said with a smile.
That smile filled Milo with even more affection for him. “But, afterward, when you are ready for sleep, you will allow me to share your bed, won’t you? The charging station is not fully fixed yet, and I promise I will not do anything you do not wish of me, Master. Rowan! Please…?”
Rowan still had hold of Milo’s hands and was smoothing his thumbs in little circles around Milo’s palms. “Yes, Milo. You can still share my bed. I need you to understand that I’m not trying to reject you, but we are not a couple. We’re not,” he moved on when Milo was about to interject, “because you didn’t have a choice in the matter before now. You’re a different person than you were yesterday. Youarea person.”
“And you do not know yet if you like this version of me?” Milo asked.
“That’s not what I’m saying either. I don’t know this version of you. You don’t know this version of you. We need to figure that out first, okay?”
“I understand. Then you will like me?”
“Milo.” Rowan laughed with that same sweet fondness that didn’t seem like humor but maybe its own kind of affection. “I am never going to not like you. It’s just complicated. All emotions are complicated. You need to know who you are before you can choose to be with me. Please try to understand that.”
“I do. I think I do. I do not like this new feeling, however. Uncertainty?”
Rowan smiled a little wider. Compassionate. Commiserating? “Sorry about that. Not all emotions are nice. Not for any of us.”
“Like pain?”
“Yeah…” Rowan winced as he had earlier, like he was experiencing pain. How constantly varied emotions were, oscillating endlessly from one to the next.
When Rowan reached for Milo’s face, this time to brush away some of the moisture that had spilled from his eyes, he realized that sometimes emotions surprised even the one experiencing them. He had not realized his eyes were watering.
“It’s okay. It really is. Or it will be,” Rowan said. “You don’t need to keep worrying your bottom lip over it.”
Milo raised a hand to his mouth. He hadn’t realized he had been doing that either, but a quick diagnostic proved he had been. “I’m sorry, Rowan.”
“Don’t be sorry, just try to not do that too much. We wouldn’t want it becoming a bad habit and causing damage. I never want to see you damaged, Milo.”
Just as swiftly as Milo had felt sadness from his uncertainty, he felt relief again. Getting used to this was going to take time. Perhaps what he was also feeling was impatience and frustration, but Rowan had a way of making even the negative emotions more tolerable. “I will keep to only sexy lip biting then.”
Again, Rowan laughed, this time definitely from humor, which Milo decided was a good thing, especially since he caused it. He really wanted Rowan to kiss him again, and when he didn’t, when he tipped forward only to pull away completely and get up from the bed, Milo held his tongue from asking for another.
He did understand, but he was also more determined than ever to learn who he was as a person, who he wanted to be moving forward, and once he did, he was also determined to get Rowan to like him enough to never pull away again.
Notes:
Sorry! No smex yet. But oh there will be. THERE WILL BE. And speaking of…
So hero Rowan is going to keep leaving little love notes as he thwarts Milo’s heists, but eventually, his team—he has to have a team, like… Raina and Troy as this adorable married couple, who together are his “person in the chair”—they're like, dude, give playing double agenta rest! Only Rowan can’t, because he's having too much fun, and he sort of wants to get caught.
The next time he is caught on camera, it catches a very specific angle, and BABY… Milo knows dat ass. ^_-
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