“I can't mate a Sea Dragon, especially not a king.”
“From what I've heard, you can mate anyone.”
“What I mean is, we wouldn't be a good match. He wouldn't be able to leave the sea to live on land, and I couldn't live underwater. I'd barely see the sun.”
“And you are glorious in the sun, my lord.”
“Am I?” I chuckled. “My dark hair absorbs the light. Your hair, however, sparkles in the sun.”
“I didn't say that you shone. I said you were glorious.”
“Yes, and I should have said thank you. That was a lovely compliment. So, thank you, Diaya.”
Smiling, Diaya bent his head and stood. “I think I'd best take my leave before I embarrass myself and beg you to reconsider.”
I stood and took his hand. “This isn't a rejection, just a delay.”
“Then I will wait.” He squeezed my hand and left.
An ache took hold of my chest as I watched Diaya walk away. An ache with a heart of panic. Even after what I'd seen, I remained faithful to Jucai. It was starting to feel like a real commitment—a lasting one, not a temporary one. I should end our relationship, but I knew I wouldn't. Something in me froze at the idea. Yes, aching panic with a touch of paralysis. That's what leaving Jucai made me feel. Which made me even more afraid.
Shaking my head, I left the room, but I didn't return to my meal. Pretending to be fine while I watched Jucai flirt with a woman whom I had introduced him to was not conducive to eating. I'd do better dining in my room.
On my way to my wing of the castle—far from the royal guest rooms—I stopped a passing servant and asked them to have the kitchen send a plate up to my room. The further I got from Jucai, the more the ache increased. Which meant I needed to get as far away as possible. Maybe if I went far enough, I'd stop craving him.
But even after locking my suite door and retreating to the balcony, I couldn't escape the Sea King. Standing in the silver moonlight, I looked down at my hands. They were trembling. Scared and furious, I clenched them into fists. I wouldn't let another person dictate my behavior or play with my emotions. This was precisely why I didn't want to find my mate. Once mated, your happiness became contingent on theirs. And there was no escaping your mate once you found them. They—
“No escaping,” I whispered and looked over my shoulder, through the suite, to the main door.
I had fled, run from Jucai, because I didn't enjoy seeing him flirt with another person. When he raged at me about Lahi and Diaya, I had thought him overly possessive. But wasn’t I doing the same thing? No, no, it wasn't the same. I was upset because he had promised not to. This was about him breaking his word. He said he flirted only to seduce. So, it wasn't really the flirting that had me furious. It was what the flirting meant and where it would lead.
“Dear Gods.” I crumpled, folding to the floor to brace my back against the stone railing.
Diaya's words came back to me.“Could he be your mate?”
“No,” I said.
“Why such a quick denial?”
“Shut up, Diaya!” I shouted at the moon since Diaya wasn't there. “Fuck, I'm losing my mind.”
A knock came at the door, and I flinched. At first, I thought Jucai had found me, and I considered ignoring the knock. But then I remembered that I'd ordered dinner. I got upand went to the door. Of course, it wasn't Jucai. He was busy seducing a woman.
“Who's there?” I called, just in case.
“I have your dinner plate, Lord Nadar.”
I opened the door and smiled at the boy. “Sorry, I'm trying to avoid someone.”
“Oh.” He chuckled and handed me a tray with a covered plate, a water carafe, utensils, and an empty glass. “I understand. I've been trying to avoid one of the serving girls to no avail.” He shook his head. “She's relentless.”
“As is my pursuer.” In my head, I tacked on, “usually.”
“Good luck, my lord.”
“Thank you. Good luck to you.” I took the tray and closed the door with my foot. Despite resigning myself to the fact that my sea king was wooing a woman, anxiety raced up my spine. I put the tray down on a nearby table and hurried back to lock the door.
As soon as it was locked, I felt a ridiculous sense of relief. Shaking my head at myself, I took the tray to my little dining table and sat down. Why was I so worried? Wouldn't it be better if Jucai came looking for me? Or would it? No, I didn't want to face him yet. If he came to me to end things, I would be humiliated. If he came to apologize, we'd probably get into a fight. But if he didn't come at all, I'd know for certain that he had betrayed me. So, no matter what happened, it would be better for us to wait until morning to speak.
