I didn't pray this time. It was too late, and a part of me was relieved. The magic had taken away my choice. All I could do was surrender to it, and I wanted to. I wanted Jucai. Somehow, I had known from the first touch of his hand that he was mine. He would always be mine. I had tried to run from it, but you can't outrun magic, especially not the magic of the Gods.
Jucai met my gaze, his eyes full of joy. “Nadar, it's you. I knew it was you! You're mine.”
“Jucai.”
He sat up, and we held each other, connected by desire, flesh, and magic. My soul rose, ready to give of itself to my mate. A hoped-for future flashed before my eyes, giving me glimpses of a life fully lived with a man who would love me and only me forever. Why had I fought this? It was bliss.
And then it wasn't.
Jucai and I cried out in pain together, our bodies bucking in protest. He withered inside me, and I lost my arousal as well, my soul sliding back to where it began. The magic turned on us. Abandoned us. I felt it drift away, taking the physical pain with it, but leaving the pain of broken dreams behind.
“No!” Jucai roared and yanked me into his arms. His head raised, he continued to shout denials as he clutched me—clutched me as if I might disappear with the magic. “No, he's mine! You gave him to me! Why would you stop? Great Karadas, bring it back. Please, give the magic back!”
I lifted my head to watch my lover break. Something inside me broke with him, but something else grew stronger. I hadn't wanted a mate, but now that I had felt what it was like, I did. I wanted it badly, and I wanted it with Jucai. I would have him or no other, and that decision hardened me toward my goal. I had to succeed. If I failed, I would never be happy again. And to succeed, I needed his help.
“Jucai.” I took his face in my hands. “Shh, Jucai, stop. It's going to be all right.”
He met my gaze, and a tear rolled down his cheek. “You're mine. You can't deny it. I felt it. In my bones. My blood. I know you felt it too, Nadar. You are mine, and I am yours. The magic of our Gods brought you to me. It explains everything—theinstant connection, our consuming passion for each other and no one else, our inability to give this up. This is not temporary. It never was.”
“Shh.” I stroked his face. “I know.”
Jucai blinked away his tears. “You do?”
“Of course I know. I didn't want this, but now that I've seen what we could have, I want it more than anything. I want you as my mate. Forever. And the Gods want it too.”
“Then why did it stop? It rose inside us both and then tore itself away.”
“Yes, I think the pain was our souls lashing out. I heard my dragon roar. I don't know why it came only to leave. Maybe it's because the mating magic is new to Sea Dragons. Maybe it's something else. It doesn't matter. We may not be mated yet, but we know it will happen. So we can plan for the future.”
“What if it never returns? Or what if it keeps coming back only to leave us every time?”
“Then we'll deal with it. Together. Because we're all we've got. You are mine, and I am yours. It's settled. So, even if the magic never comes back, we will still know who we are to each other, and we will live as mates without it.”
“I don't want to live without it!” He pulled my hands away from his face. “The mating magic is a gift from Karadas to us Sea Dragons. A few members of my dread have found their mates, and they say the connection is unlike anything else, stronger than the sea itself. They won't take any bed slaves. They can't. Satisfaction only comes from their mate. They see each other,Nadar. Their true selves. And that's what brings love to a mated couple. I want to see you! I want you to see me!”
“I want that too.” Rising first to let him slide free, I moved to sit beside him. “I want to feel that with you, know you more intimately than anyone else. But if it doesn't happen, we will just have to fall in love without magic. It’s more romantic that way.”
Jucai's expression softened. “I think I'm already falling in love with you.”
“Now that I'm not fighting it, I feel it too. This is worth more than mating.” I took his hand. “We should be grateful to be given this chance.”
He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it. “Is it unromantic to say that I want to fall in love with you in both ways? I had a glimpse of your soul, and it was beautiful. I want to see all of it.”
“No, it's not unromantic. I want it all too. And I believe we'll have it, but for now, I'm happy with this.”
Jucai held my hand in his lap, rubbing it with his thumb. “I'm happy too. I may not love you yet, but I feel it building inside me. It's strong enough to make me want to say the words.”
“Don't.” I squeezed his hand. “Not until you're certain.”
“And you as well. I don't want to hear it until it's forever.”
“Then you're all right with waiting for the mating magic?”
Jucai shoved me back on the bed, rolling atop me as he did, and slid between my thighs. “We'll just have to keep trying until the magic relents and gives us what we want.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Jucai and I tried three more times that night, only stopping for dinner and for Jucai to tell the Master of Palace Slaves that four of their slaves had been released from their contracts early and were now Jucai’s guests. Jucai had returned from that task laughing and described the shocked expression of the Master of Palace Slaves to me in great detail.
