He couldn’t control the sap that came out of his mouth as he told Skyler he loved him over and over again. And he couldn’t control his body when Skyler found that spot inside him and kept hitting it dead on until Trevor shook like there was an earthquake and came all over his own stomach.
Skyler’s rhythm faltered then as he looked down at him with wide, amazed eyes. It took Trevor a few moments for his brain to come back to his body, and then he realized he’d just come untouched from his first time bottoming.
“Holy shit,” Skyler said.
“Keep going,” Trevor told him.
“It’s okay, I know it can get sensitive after you come.”
“Keep going. Please.”
Skyler leaned down to kiss him as he resumed a slow pace. Trevor did his best to squeeze his muscles around him, and that was all it took for Skyler to lose it.
Still inside of him, Skyler eventually began to soften, and it was a strange sensation but not unpleasant. Skyler carefully pulled out before collapsing on top of Trevor’s chest. Through his blissful haze, Trevor realized there was come leaking out of him. They’d long ago stopped using condoms, which was messier, but Skyler claimed he liked it better this way. And now he understood. Because again it felt strange, but it also felt like a reminder of how he belonged to Skyler in every fucking way imaginable.
Skyler was the first to regain his voice. “So I’m definitely not complaining about this turn of events. But was that something you just wanted in the moment, or was it something you’ve been wanting for longer?”
“I…” Trevor couldn’t lie to him. “Ineededit now, but um, yeah. It wasn’t just in the moment. It’s always felt natural for me to top, right? So I went with it, and I love it, but I guess I’ve been thinking about trying this for a while now.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I wasn’t sure if you’d want to do it.”
Skyler scoffed. “Are you kidding? I want to doeverythingwith you!”
His boy was shining so brightly that Trevor had to kiss both of his dimples before he could respond. “Same, baby. Same.”
“God, that was fucking awesome. And we could have been doing it this whole time! We’re never allowed to keep something we want to ourselves ever again, okay?”
Trevor laughed. “Okay.”
They held each other for a long time after that, and it was everything he needed.
Skyler’s breathing had slowed, and Trevor thought he was about to fall asleep with his head on Trevor’s chest. But then suddenly Skyler moved, propping himself up on his elbow to look at him. “What if we had a signal that meantI love you?”
“Huh?”
“For when we’re in public and we want to say it, but we can’t,” Skyler explained. “Would that help? Having a signal?”
“Maybe. Like what?”
Skyler thought a moment. “Like we could rub our neck here.” He pressed two fingers right below the corner of his jaw, rubbing back and forth slowly.
Trevor mimicked the action. “Yeah.”
“We’re going to be okay,” Skyler said.
And Trevor didn’t know if Skyler was trying to reassure him or seeking reassurance for himself. But he knew it was true. So he said, “Of course, we are,” and then he kissed the boy he loved before they both fell asleep.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Now
SKYLER
Skyler didn’t realize howmuch he missed Trevor painting his nails for him until now. The way Trevor holds his fingers so gently, the care he takes in making sure the polish is even and none of it gets on his cuticles. They’re small gestures, but they mean so much to him. He has professional stylists who get paid to do this for him, but it’s not the same. Not at all.
Sitting here cross-legged on the floor with Trevor, his hand resting on Trevor’s knee while Trevor paints his nails a deep maroon color, it takes him back to the years when they were first together. When they were so eager to take care of each other in both the simplest and the biggest ways.
