Skyler gnawed on his lip for a few moments, then said, “What if we came out?”
“What?” Trevor stared at him dumbstruck.
“You heard me.”
“Yeah, but…” Hearing the words and having them make any sense were two different things. “What do you mean? How?”
“I don’t know exactly,” Skyler said, taking Trevor’s hand and rubbing his thumb along the back of it. “But would you do it?”
He squirmed uncomfortably under Skyler’s earnest stare, then reminded him about the image clause in their contracts and how much their management was able to control what they said and did.
“We could at least try to talk to them about it,” Skyler said. “What do you think?”
“I think it doesn’t matter whatwethink,” Trevor told him. “We’re not the ones in charge.”
Skyler huffed and dropped his hand. “Okay, I get that. But what you think matters tome. I want the world to know who I really am. Don’t you?”
“I—”
Did he?
He wasn’t sure.
He’d been basically made to feel from the beginning that his identity, his loving Skyler, was a liability. And while nothing could stop him from loving Skyler, he’d sort of learned to accept this stuff as truth for the sake of the band. So he needed more time to consider if he’d actually be comfortable with telling the world who he was.
He shook his head. “We don’t have time for this conversation right now, baby. You need to go.”
Skyler frowned as if he’d said no and broken his heart. And it made Trevor want to say,Okay, yes, let’s do it, and promise him anything in the world to erase that look from his face.
“Please, Sky. We’ll talk about it another time, okay?” He kissed him one more time, then put on a brave face as he sent Skyler off with Andrea.
Once they were gone, though, Trevor took a moment to crumble internally. This wasn’t fair.
That was life though. And in so many other ways, they were two of the luckiest twenty-something-year-olds on the planet, so he shouldn’t complain.
He must have been looking lost, standing there in the living room, because Theresa came over. She put her arm around his shoulders, squeezing him into her side, and asked if he wanted to help her cook dinner.
In the kitchen, she tried to keep the conversation light. But when he began peeling potatoes a little too aggressively, she put a hand over his to stop him. “Sweetie,” she said. “It’s going to be all right.”
“I know,” he lied.
“You know my son loves you more than anything, don’t you?”
“Yeah. I do.”
She patted his hand and let him resume his task, going back to her own. “None of this other stuff really matters.”
Trevor turned to her, and he hated how shaky his voice was when he asked, “Are you sure?”
She smiled. “Of course. Not only does he love you more than anything, but I know, and more importantly,heknows that no one else could love him the way you do. The two of you were clearly meant for each other.”
That should have been more comforting to hear. But just because two people were meant to be together, it didn’t mean they always would be. It didn’t mean they couldn’t mess it up.
“But what if I’m not doing enough for him? What if all this hiding is hurting him?”
“It’s not easy for him,” Theresa said with a small frown. “He’s never been capable of being anything other than himself. But your situation naturally makes things more complicated.”
Trevor tried not to scowl. There was nothing natural about the way he wasn’t allowed to just kiss his boyfriend whenever he wanted to. But ultimately, what he wanted to do most was protect their relationship, and he didn’t know if coming out was the best way to do that.
