“You don’t have to be scared, but I get it,” Skyler says. He readjusts the guitar in his arms and moves the capo up. “Can I play you something? It’s a song I think I want to include on the new album. I haven’t let you hear it yet, because I wrote it about how I was feeling right before we got back together, and it’s pretty…”
Skyler doesn’t finish that thought, and something tells Trevor this one is going to hurt, but he nods and stays quiet, waiting.
And he’s not wrong. From the first two lines, his heart aches. But he keeps listening, eyes glued on Skyler, whose head is bent slightly over the guitar.
We used to think we had it all
Used to think that we knew everything, everything
Had no idea how far we could fall
Didn’t know we’d be left with nothing, nothing
We used to spend our days just having fun
Nights tangled up between the sheets
Used to say whatever was on our minds
We used tobe so unafraid
So if I told you now that I’m terrified
What would you think of me?
If I told you I still want you by my side
Would you think I’d lost my mind?
Or would you maybe say you want to try?
Would you admit you’re just as terrified?
Trevor’s not sure how he makes it through the entire song without breaking down, but he does. And when Skyler glances up at him, uncertainty in his eyes, it doesn’t hurt so much anymore. It’s almost a relief to know Trevor wasn’t the only one who’d felt that way. To know that despite how confident he appeared, Skyler was equally as nervous about taking the leap from friends to something more again.
Not that it was a very big leap. Even in the times they were supposed to be just friends, the lines between them have always been blurry.
“Well?” Skyler asks softly.
Trevor shakes himself out of his own head. “It’s…”Heartbreaking. Beautiful. Everything.“It’s so good. You should definitely put it on the album.”
He knows he should say more, wants to tell him that hewasterrified, but also that he isn’t so much anymore. That he’s willing to let himself be a little scared, let himself be vulnerable, in order to keep trying with Skyler. But with all the emotions thrumming inside him, it’s hard to get the words out.
After Skyler puts the guitar away, he comes back over and gives him an almost disappointed look. Like he was expecting something deeper too. So Trevor carefully pulls him in by the bottom of his T-shirt and kisses him. Slow, purposeful. Hoping the kiss tells Skyler everything he needs to know.
Then he announces he’s going to get dressed, and leaves Skyler there in the music room.
He’s not running away. Really, he’s not. He’s simply walking away because he’s still only wearing damp swim trunks and a towel, and it’s chilly in here. And fine, maybe he also needs a minute alone. Sometimes Skyler amazes him so much he doesn’t know how to handle it.
Up in their bedroom—not sure when he started thinking of it astheirbedroom—Trevor drops the towel and his trunks to the floor and searches for apair of boxers in Skyler’s underwear drawer. He laid his stuff on top originally, but with Skyler digging for his own underneath, everything’s gotten mixed up together. Maybe they should rearrange things so he can have his own drawer. The room’s big enough that they could put in another dresser if they had to (hell, they could put in five), but for now, a drawer would be nice.
As he’s pulling out his boxers, his knuckles knock against something hard. Curious, he feels for the object, until his fingers wrap around a tiny velvet box.
He’s holding it in his hand.
He shouldn’t open it, but he does.
And really, he doesn’t know what else he was expecting to find, but when he sees the silver engagement band with the thin row of diamond inlays, Trevor’s brain short circuits.
