And now Skyler’s watching him with concerned eyes, waiting for his reaction. Wondering, maybe, if Trevor’s going to freak out about this.
He has to say something.
He reaches out a hand and waits for Skyler to come forward and take it. Skyler’s touch grounds him, gives him the courage to say, “Just so you know. It’s always been you for me too.”
A smile spreads rapidly across Skyler’s face, but then it falls. “But you… you stopped fighting for us.”
Ouch.
“I know,” Trevor admits, squeezing Skyler’s hand. “Because I was a coward. But breaking up was never what I wanted. Never. All I ever wanted was you.”
“You wanted a family,” Skyler points out.
“Yeah. But I could have had that with you.”
It doesn’t hurt anymore, thinking about the child he might have had with Sierra. The only hurt he feels is over what he and Skyler were supposed to have. Everything they could have had if they’d never given up. A pile of kids and all the simple trappings of suburbia.
Maybe it’s not too late.
They lost years together, but they can still have a future. Hewantsthat.
“Yeah,” Skyler says, his free hand falling to Trevor’s knee. “You and me and our kids in Iowa. Or Minnesota. Wherever it was. Target runs and soccer practice and backyard barbeques. Remember?”
Trevor’s heart swells at knowing Skyler remembers their plan, and all he can do is nod, trying in vain to prevent the tears from welling up in his eyes.
He wants to apologize for letting everything get so messed up. But they’ve been through this already, and he knows neither one of them should fully take the blame. Still. “I guess I was young and foolish.”
Skyler tightens his grip on Trevor’s knee. “It’s okay. We both were.” He lets out a half-hearted laugh. “Who buys an engagement ring when they’re twenty-one, right?”
Trevor leans forward and buries his face in Skyler’s stomach. He’s not sure Skyler understood him. Because he didn’t mean it was foolish to think their love was something special that could last through everything.
No.
It was only foolish to let other people convince him that it wasn’t.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Before
SKYLER
Skyler hadn’t expected theSierra thing to last this long. He’d wanted to ask Trevor to tell Maggie to call it off before, but Trevor had been grieving, so he’d left it alone. He’d thought he could wait it out. But now Sierra was around all the time, and he could feel Trevor slipping away from him.
The more time and energy Trevor was forced to put into this fake relationship, the less time and energy he had left to put into his relationship with Skyler.
Yet here Skyler was, still trying.
Trevor had just returned to their hotel room after a meeting with Maggie, and Skyler had made him lasagna again, per Trevor’s request. But Trevor clearly wasn’t happy.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Skyler asked cautiously when Trevor violently stabbed a bite of lasagna onto his fork.
Trevor only grunted in response.
God, he was so sick of this. He wanted them to be like they used to be.
“Did the meeting have something to do with you and Sierra?” he pushed. Because he needed to know.
“Obviously,” Trevor said.
