“Well.” A pause. “Maybe it scares me.”
Skyler dug his toes into the fluffy area rug, the one that he’d picked out and Trevor thought was ugly but had let him have anyway. This couldn’t be happening. “What are you saying?”
“I’msaying”—Trevor’s voice cracked—“it’s terrifying to need someone this much. It makes me feel weak.”
“I—I can’t listen to this anymore. I don’t even know what to say to that.” It felt like Skyler was wading through dense sand as he stepped closer to Trevor, who didn’t even look real anymore. A mirage in the desert, and even if he could reach him, it wouldn’t be enough. “It doesn’t make you weak to need someone. I think it makes us stronger because wehaveeach other.”
It was the middle of the day, but the sun set on Trevor’s face when he said, “Do we though? Do we really? Because it sure doesn’t feel like it lately. It feels like you want your idea of a perfect relationship more than you want me. It feels like you’re pulling away from me.”
“Me?I’m the one pulling away?” No fucking way did Trevor just say that to him. As if he could ever. As if he didn’t need Trevor like oxygen. “Are you crazy? I’m only doing whatever I can to try to cope with the fact that the love of my life doesn’t love me enough to fight for me!”
“What exactly do you want me to fight for?” Trevor asked harshly. “I love you! Do you need me to freaking sing about it? Because I thought I was already doing that. Do you need me to sing your name in a sold-out stadium? Would that make you happy?”
"That’s not—”
“Why can’t things ever just be about you and me? Why isn’t being with me in private enough for you? You’re making everything harder than it needs to be.”
That was it. Skyler had had enough. He couldn’t do this anymore. He wouldn’t.
He realized he was asking for a lot, but Trevor was the one who’d told him he could ask for what he wanted. Trevor was the one who kept promising they’d be okay. And now Trevor was the one who wanted to give up?
Fuck that.
He’d give up first.
“You know what?” he snapped, intending to make his next words hurt. “Maybe you are weak. But it isn’t needing me that makes you weak.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“When things get hard your first instinct is to quit.”
“It’s not my first instinct!” Trevor yelled, stepping forward, then seeming to catch himself and stepping back again. “Are you fucking kidding me? I’ve been dealing with this shit for years!”
Well.
Skyler tried his best to keep his voice steady as his world fell apart. “If loving me is something you don’t want to deal with anymore, then maybe you should stop.”
“Skyler.” Trevor shook his head. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying get out.”
No. That’s not what I’m saying. No.
“What?” Trevor asked, desperation tinging the word.
Skyler could take it back.
But instead.
“Get the fuck out! I don’t want you here!”
Trevor’s mouth dropped open, and Skyler was just as shocked at his own words. God, what was he doing? Why was his mouth saying things that made his heart feel like it was being slowly sliced open with a butter knife?
He should take it back. He should take it back right now before it was too late. Shove his stupid pride back down and beg for forgiveness. Trevor always forgave him.
Except.
He couldn’t make any other words come out. His throat closed up and he couldn’t breathe, and then suddenly Trevor turned and was walking toward the door.
