Cracking open the door, he spotted Trevor lying in the center of his bed, bare shoulders peeking out of the covers. He swallowed and stepped into the room, shutting the door quietly behind him.
“What’s up?” Trevor asked, voice a bit rough like he’d already been asleep, and Skyler immediately felt bad for waking him.
“I can’t sleep. I’m sorry.” He tugged at the bottom of his T-shirt and stared down at the floor. “It’s weird being here so far away from home and my family. I know I’m being a baby, and it’s embarrassing, but—”
“Hey,” Trevor cut him off gently. When Skyler looked up, Trevor silently scooted over to one side of the bed, holding up the covers on the other side.
Skyler’s eyes widened. While he wasn’t sure exactly what he’d expected by coming in here, it certainly wasn’t that. But he shuffled across the room and crawled into the bed, gratefully accepting the invitation.
He lay with his back to Trevor, careful to establish a safe distance between them. Then the mattress shifted, and while Trevor didn’t move in close enough to spoon him, he did start playing with Skyler’s hair. Teasing his fingers through it and scratching lightly over Skyler’s scalp. It felt so good he was afraid he might start purring like a cat.
“Thank you,” he whispered.
“Anytime.”
They talked for a while, sleepily whispering things to each other in the dark, until Skyler’s eyelids grew heavy. Right before he drifted off, he felt Trevor’s hand rest ever so timidly on his waist.
Chapter Six
Now
TREVOR
IT’S BEEN A WEEKSINCE he saw Skyler, and Trevor still can’t believe it. As much as not seeing him for five years hurt, he’s not sure if seeing him now was any better. It was like picking at a scab and reopening an old wound.
He may not have been happy without Skyler, but he was doing okay. Now he can’t get through five minutes of a day without thinking about him.
He has other things to think about too, though. Like his publicist begging him to do an interview. She went on about how he could use the public’s renewed interest in him to possibly land himself another record deal. When he told her he didn’t want another record deal, she said, “Then what the heck am I doing still working for you?”
She has a good point. But he didn’t fire her, and she didn’t quit. So.
He told her he’d think about it, even though he can’t see himself changing his mind. Because what would he say? Whether or not he still wants to make music doesn’t even matter. They’re only interested in him if it has to do with Skyler. And he’s not going to come out.
He’s not ashamed of being bisexual. But he doesn’t want to deal with the asinine and invasive questions that would follow.
And he does have Sierra to think about, as annoying as that is. He hasn’t dated anyone since they got divorced, and that’s not only because he never got over Skyler. (Okay, it’s mostly because of that.) He hasn’t evenbeenwith anybody else. Because the only people he’s been remotely interested in after Sierra have happened to be men. (Fair-skinned, wild-haired men, if you want tobe specific. But let’s not be specific.) If he started hooking up with men, and the media somehow got wind of it…
He doesn’t want it to hurt Sierra. She knew about his sexuality and about him and Skyler before he got together with her. And she’s already had to deal with all those Blue Skies shippers in the past who were convinced their relationship was fake. Which wasn’t entirely uncalled for, seeing as how, at the beginning, itwasfake. But if he comes out now, that’ll all start back up again, and it’ll be a million times worse.
She doesn’t deserve that. She may have put him through some horrible shit, but he was far from a saint in their relationship. And since they separated, she’s never told the media the truth about him, which counts for a lot.
So no. Courtney isn’t going to get her way with this one. There’s no way he can give an interview and be honest about his feelings for Skyler without coming out, so he’s not doing it.
Times like this, he really fucking misses his mom. She’d know what to do. What to say to make everything not seem as awful. But since he can’t talk to her…
He scratches at the tattoo on his forearm, right under his elbow crease, as he tells himself not to do it. Not right now when everything in his brain has to do with Skyler, Skyler, Skyler.
But he’s weak.
So he sits on the couch and pats the cushion beside him for Stella to jump up. Once she settles with her head in his lap, he runs his fingers through her fur, and with his other hand, he reaches for his phone.
Skyler’s mom answers on the third ring. “Hello?”
“Hey, Theresa.”
“Hi sweetie, how are you doing?”
It’s pathetic how quickly the sound of her voice soothes him. “I’m sorry to bug you,” he says. “I know we talked a couple weeks ago.” They usually only do this once every few months or so.
