I got up and unlocked the door. She opened it and looked at it in question.
“You hardly have to lock the door at home,” she chastised.
“Why not? This isn’t my home.”
She rolled her eyes. No one did dramatic like Marjory.
“Well, I hope you will change your mind about that as time goes on. You’re safe here, Selena.”
“You bring me to live with three strange men and tell me I’m safe here. You might understand why I don’t believe it.”
She shook her head. “Don’t see Brody and Callahan as strange men. They’re your brothers now. They’ll look out for you.”
I laughed; I couldn’t help it.
“Whatever. What do you need?” I knew my mother. She didn’t drop by for idle chats.
She flushed and smoothed her skirt. “John needs to go to New York for an important meeting, and he wants me to come with him.”
“Are you going to be in the meeting?” I asked, trying not to sound as freaked out as I was.
“Very funny, no. But I’ll have time to do some shopping for you, some elegant outfits, and just take a rest for myself, as the last few weeks with the honeymoon and everything have been very tiring.”
I shook my head. “Yes, being on vacation must have been exhausting. Sure, whatever, go, but please don’t buy me any more clothes that I hate.”
Marjory sighed loudly. “Well, will you be okay here?”
“If I said no, would you not go?” I challenged her.
She just stared at me, twisting the huge rock on her finger.
“Then don’t ask,” I muttered and lay back down on my bed, staring at the ceiling.
After a while she left. Faraway noises came from down below, so I got up to peer out the window. It was my mother, flanked by Arthur, who wheeled a suitcase to a waiting car. So, she had come and told me just before leaving? Classy move.
The car pulled out and down the long, twisting drive toward the road. The house felt quiet as a tomb.
I was completely alone.
Goosebumps popped up along my arms. I assumed that Cal and Brody were at the ice rink. The Hellions’ training had started again. They’d probably be there a lot. If my mom and John traveled quite a bit, that would mean I would be alone in this huge mansion often. I didn’t know how to feel about that. Despite his billionaire status, my new stepfather didn’t seem to trust any staff, apart from his own assistant, to be around his family too much. The chef and housekeeper kept regular hours and left every afternoon.
Just now, just the thought that someone could come when I was the only one home was stressing me out. We were isolated here, far from the road. At Winter’s apartment, if I screamed loud enough, someone would hear. Here, no one would hear. No one at all.
My fingers shook.Crap.These crippling panic attacks were happening more and more frequently. I couldn’t seem to hold it together anymore. I’d thought that California and the way I’d felt there had been the peak of my anxiety, but now, being back in Hade Harbor, the place where it had all started, I felt worse than ever. It wasn’t enough to get drunk a few nights a week to take the edge off. It wasn’t enough to be alone, inside a locked house. Despite those measures, I felt out of control. A stranger in my own body.
I was dangerously close to a spiral I wasn’t sure I’d be able to pull up from.
I wandered around my room. I wanted to go and see my sister, but I couldn’t drive there, I had no car, and taking a cab alone was out of the question.
In the bathroom, the siren call of the damn cherry-flavored cough syrup beckoned me.
I found myself standing in front of the bathroom mirror, my mouth watering.
This was bad. I knew it objectively, and yet that didn’t lessen the desire one bit. I could just take a few glugs and then lie down and sleep for hours. The day would pass quicker.
I reached for the cabinet door before I could help myself. I pulled it open and then stopped.
Half the contents of the bathroom cabinet were gone. The cough syrup was missing, as well as other flu drugs. The bottle of hairspray my mom had stocked, just in case I magically took an interest in my hair, was gone. Even the mouthwash.
