"Then don't do this," she pleads. "Don't go chasing after monsters. I already lost him. I'm not losing you, too."
That almost breaks me. Almost. But I just can't let it go. I can't soften. I can't stop. I need to find out the truth. Deep down, I fear I'm already lying to myself. Because… do I want to find out the truth for Pete's sake?Right, Audra, right. My bitchy side snarks.It hasnothingto do with the incredible sex or how much you're attracted to him.
"I can't let this go," I look pleadingly into Kelly's eyes, begging her to understand, begging her not to see through my lies to how fucked up I am. How much I've already betrayed her son.
Kelly closes her eyes like it physically pains her. Maggie's hand finds mine, squeezes it tightly. For a moment, we stand still, and so, it seems, does time.
Eventually, Kelly grabs for a Kleenex, blows her nose, and looks at me. "So what do you want?"
"Nothing. I only came to… tell you what happened that day. How Pete… died."
"Where are you staying?" Maggie wants to know.
Again, I shake my head. "With a friend."
Kelly's mother radar is up in no time. "The one from the funeral? You two looked very cozy."
I swallow. I deserve her suspicion, I really do. She's not wrong either. "It's not what it looks like."
"Oh really?" Kelly pushes off the wall with surprising strength and moves right into my face. "What does it look like to you? Because from where I'm standing, it looks damn suspicious."
"Mom," Maggie shakes her head.
"No," Kelly turns on her. "She needs to hear this. I loved you like a daughter." Her usage of the past tense hurts more than I like to admit. "And Pete loved you. He would have… he would have… died for you."
She swallows, gathers herself. "And here you are, wearing expensive clothes." She looks me up and down, and I swallow. I wasn't thinking when I got dressed this morning and put on one of the new dresses from the shopping spree.
"Expensive jewelry." Her gaze goes meaningful to the small gold bracelet that has become my favorite and which I hardly ever take off.Shit. "You're staying with a man who is rumored?—"
Maggie breaks her off, "That's enough, Mom."
"Is it?" Kelly's eyes blaze with anger. She grabs my arm. "You tell me right now, Audra, did you do something to cause Pete's death?"
"Mom!" Maggie cries.
I stare into Kelly's eyes; her words hurt, but I understand. I really do. "I swear on mine and Pete's life, Kelly. I had nothing to do with it. I was saved, and he wasn't. I'm sorry."
She stares at me a moment longer before she lets go of me and nods. "I think it's better if you leave now."
I lean forward and kiss her cheek, pretending not to notice her shrinking away. With a sigh, I turn to leave.
"Audra," she calls me back. I turn. "If you really had nothing to do with it and if you want to give me peace, call Detective Greenwald."
I don't answer; I can't make false promises to her. I feel like a whipped dog on my way back to the entrance door, where Maggie stops me.
"Audra, I'm sorry. That was uncalled for." She pulls me into a tight embrace. "She's not been herself since…" She trails off.
I nod tiredly, coming here had been a mistake. I should have known that.
"She doesn't really think you had anything to do with it. Really. And neither do I."
"But the cops do," I remark bitterly, reading between the lines and realizing that Detective Greenwald must have spewed his distrust to Kelly.
"It's weird that… you won't talk to them, Audra. But I know you. I know you loved him. You loved my brother."
"I would have never harmed him." I try not to sound evasive.
"Promise me not to go chasing after those people, Audra. Let the police handle it. Don't make me lose you, too, please," she pleads. "I've already lost my brother. I don't want to lose my sister, too."
