Dinner is simple tonight. An easy pasta with meat sauce and a salad.
Like every night this week, Luke handles the main dish while I take on the salad, sinceit’s not something I can easily mess up. Over the last few days, we’ve settled into a rhythm that feels surprisingly natural. He cooks, while I help where I can.
Somewhere between the chopping, cooking, and stirring, the sharp edges between us have softened a little bit. Maybe even…enough?
I’m not naive enough to think that after only a week, Luke’s changed his mind about keeping me on as his assistant, but at least we’re not openly hostile with each other anymore.
I carry the salad to the table while he brings the bowl of pasta. For a few minutes, the only sound is the clinking of forks as we dig into dinner, neither of us talking while we eat.
I sneak a glance at him across the table, and for a moment, I wonder what’s going through his mind. Like always, he looks focused, almost grouchy, while he attacks his meal. There’s a tension in his shoulders that never quite disappears, like he’s holding the weight of the entire world up by himself.
I can’t help but wonder if it’s as exhausting as it looks to be so guarded.
The thought lingers as I take anotherbite, my appetite fading as the conversation I had with Tessa earlier creeps back in.
You need a distraction.
I shift slightly in my chair and push my food around the plate, trying to push her words from my mind, but it’s no use.
Maybe Idoneed a distraction?
Something—or someone—to symbolize this new chapter of my life.
It feels stupid in a way, since I never tried to overthink things with Barrett, but ultimately, hewasa major part of my life. I was going tomarryhim, for God’s sake. That’s pretty major. More than that, I held onto my virginity for him.
Ugh, why?
I’ve never been the type of woman who was precious about things like that.
When Barrett and I started dating, I’d been so worried that he’d be turned off by the fact that I’d never had sex, but he thought it wassweet.And then he’d started talking about it as if it were something special, agiftthat I’d been saving just for him.
I’d gone along with it because it seemed to make him happy.
But I didn’t want to be that girl anymore.
The type whogoes along with it.The typewho almost let a snake of a man dictate my future for me.
No way.
Iwasn’tthat girl anymore. I never was, I’d just forgotten for a little while.
I let my fork clatter to the plate as the realization hits.
I need to make a statement to myself.
“You okay?”
Concern crosses Luke’s face, and he sets his own fork down while he watches me carefully.
The question is simple, but the way he’s watching me isn’t.
“I’m fine,” I say a little too quickly.
His gaze lingers, but he doesn’t push.
Of course, he doesn’t. He never does.
Asking a question about me would be too personal. It would be crossing a line between boss and employee. And if it’s one thing he’s made clear, that’s something we’re certainlynotdoing.
