“Exactly.”
Another gust of wind blew through the clearing and I shifted closer to Jasper, soaking up the heat of his body and hell maybe the comfort of his presence too.
I glanced at him. “Do you ever get tired of it? The going, I mean. The…unpredictability? Never being able to make plans orwhatever?”
His mouth twitched. “You mean the part where I don’t date anyone for longer than a season and I’ve got a duffel bag permanently packed?”
I smirked. “That obvious?”
“Apparently.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah. Sometimes. But every time I think about settling, I guess, I just—” He exhaled, shaking his head. “It feels unfair.”
“Unfair how?”
“To them,” he said simply. “You start building something with someone, you make plans and then your phone goes off and you’re gone. Or worse, they’re phone goes off and it’s not good news.” He gave a small, crooked smile. “Kind of a lousy deal for the other person.”
I let that sit for a second, feeling the truth of it settle somewhere under my ribs. “Yeah,” I said quietly. “I get that.”
He glanced over. “Yeah, you would get that in your line of work.”
“Mm.” I pulled my knees in closer, tucking my chin against them. “I’ve tried. A couple times. You meet someone, and for a bit they understand the crazy schedule. You start picturing having a home base and a person who knows your favorite coffee mug without asking.” I huffed a soft laugh. “Then they get sick of you canceling plans, and being gone. I’m living out of a pack, out of cell range and they are packing up and moving on to someone more stable.” I shrugged.
“Like living in two different worlds,” he said.
“Exactly.” I pointed at him. “Two lives that don’t overlap.”
We shared a small smile of understanding.
“I think,” I added after a beat, “it’s not even just the leaving. It’s the worrying for them. Not knowing if I am going to comeback, or where I am. It’s a weight that is too heavy for most.”
Jasper nodded slowly. “Yeah. I’ve seen what that waiting does to people.” Those deep chocolate eyes looked into mine again. “I’d rather be the guy who never quite settles than the one who makes someone live like that.”
“Same,” I said.
For a moment, neither of us spoke. The rain kept up its steady rhythm, the wind nudging at the edges of the blanket keeping us from really staying warm.
“Guess we’re both terrible long-term investments,” I said finally, a hint of a grin creeping back in.
Jasper snorted. “Hey, speak for yourself. I come with excellent survival skills and a solid sense of direction.”
“Debatable,” I teased. “We are currently stranded in the woods.”
“Temporarily inconvenienced,” he corrected, nudging my boot with his. “Big difference.”
I laughed, the sound surprising me.
“Still,” he added, a little more quietly now, “it’s kind of nice. Talking to someone who gets it.”
“It is.”
Something shifted. The drama of the airport was forgotten as we sat shoulder to shoulder in mutual misery and understanding.
Chapter Six
Jasper
How we went from ripping each other’s heads off to having a therapeutic heart-to-heart over the pitfalls of being a first responder?
No idea.
