He leaves a little while later. I don't watch him go. Or I watch him a little and then look back at the window, where the magpie has reappeared and is staring at the remains of Theo's pancake with open contempt.
"Still no," I tell it.
four
Ronan
Iseethemthroughthe playground fence on my way to Murphy's.
Theo's on the climbing structure, going up something that's at the limit of what a four-year-old should be attempting. Hallie is below him with her hands up. He's not listening to whatever she's saying. She knows he's not listening. She keeps her hands up anyway.
He makes it to the top. Looks out over the playground like he's just summited something. She drops her hands and laughs, and I stop walking.
Then he comes down and his foot slips on the last rung.
He doesn't fall far. Knee catches the edge, he drops the last foot to the ground, and he's already looking at his knee by the time I'm through the gate.
Hallie gets there a half-second after me. She's moving, but something in her is fighting the moving, some override, and I'm already crouched down.
"Let me see."
He holds out his knee. Scrape, not deep, bleeding a little. He looks at it, then at me, his cheeks are red and his eyes are welling with tears.
“You’re ok, bud.” I pull the kit from my jacket — I've carried one since I was twenty-two — and open it up. "There's going to be about three seconds of sting. Count with me."
He nods bravely.
We count. I clean the scrape on one, the antiseptic on two, the bandage going on by three. He flinches on two but holds still.
"Done," I tell him.
Hallie lets out a breath behind me, and drops to her knees, hugging her son.
“Thank you,” she whispers.
“He’ll be fine,” I say, packing up my things. “Scraped knees are a sign of a fun childhood.” I can’t help but crack a grin.
Theo stands up and walks straight back to the climbing structure.
I straighten up beside Hallie. She's still looking at my hands and her jaw is tight. When she notices me noticing she looks away fast.
"Thank you," she says.
"He's fine."
"I know." A beat. "I freeze sometimes."
I don't tell her it's fine or that she shouldn't. I just stand there next to her, and we watch him go up the structure again, more carefully this time. After a while, her shoulders come down.
I'm still there that evening.
Maple had a shelf coming loose in the back hallway, which took ten minutes. Then Hallie came out to the porch when she saw my truck because Theo went to sleep an hour ago. I've got no reason to still be sitting on these steps except that I am, and she hasn't gone in.
She's quiet for a while first. Looking at the mountains going dark.
Then she says: "His name is Brad."
I don't say anything. She needs to get this out. I let her.
