I thrashed around, but the metal held.
“You did that, but see, she wasn't some problem to solve or some thing to conquer. You couldn't beat her into the shape you wanted; you shouldn't have tried.”
“Shut up!”
“She was a woman.”
“Shut up!” I yelled, suddenly hoarse.
“Mywoman.”
I screamed at that because she couldn't be his. She was mine. Everyone knew she was.
I fought harder then, my skin tearing where the metal bit into me. I cursed him and her and all of them. Virginia. Kemp. The Sidorovs and Russians in general. The doctors. Everybody.Everybody had done this to me!Everybody had pushed and pushed and pushed until this was where I ended up. The light went out. Darkness engulfed me. The intercom clicked.
When Targen spoke again, his voice sounded eerily close. Was he in here? Had he come to free me?
“Please,” I begged, beyond anger and pride and a lot of shit that suddenly didn't matter. “I’ll give you anything. J-just please let me go. I promise I’ll leave and never come back. Just p-please… let me leave in peace.”
There was silence. Then… “Peace? Do you know how hard she had to fight for every minute of peace she's had since you tried to fucking butcher her? Do you know that she can't have true peace as long as your weak ass walks this Earth? Talking about peace. You better hope there's peace in hell,” he spat.
“Targen—”
“You asked me once in session what accountability would cost you,” he interrupted, suddenly calm again.
The way he could do that made my skin crawl. I squeezed my eyes shut.
“I finally got an answer for you.”
The panels around me began to move again. Slowly. Intentionally.
But they weren't moving away. I whimpered as they steadily pressed closer, the metal none forgiving, the sudden pain none ending, my breath non-existent.
“Accountability for what you did to her…” He stopped, thinking, as I felt my bones begin to submit to the incredible pressure. “Nah, my baby is better than that. You know what accountability for what youtriedto do to her is gon’ cost you?”
Targen’s voice lowered, but still I heard him.
“Everything.”
(Monday,July 7)
“Be still.”
“I am being still.”
“No, you moving.”
“I’m breathing, Pip.”
“Well, stop.”
I laughed at the crazy conversation with my little sister. She was helping me get ready to celebrate my husband’s birthday.
“That’s called dying.”
“It’d be worth it if I could get this eyeliner straight.”
“Epiphany Faith!”
