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"Why'd you do that?" she asks, her cheeks splotchy as tears mingle with the water raining down on both of us.
"Why are you crying?" I fire right back, reaching past her to turn off the water.
"I'm not."
"You are."
I step out of the shower and wrap a towel around my waist before grabbing another, wrapping it around her and pulling her into my arms. "Talk to me, baby. You're not acting like you and it's freaking me out."
She sniffles and my heart clenches, desperately wanting to fix whatever is wrong.
I dry her off and scoop her up in my arms, carrying her back to my bed, where I pull the covers up over both of us and hold her close.
"Talk to me, little mouse."
"It's nothing."
"It's something."
"It's stupid."
"It's not."
She cries softly against my chest. "It's...it's just that..."
"It's what, baby?”
"It's just you have all this experience, and while last night was amazing, I know you're probably used to something more...something better. And I wanted—God, this sounds so stupid now—I wanted to make you feel so good that you forgot every girl that came before me."
My heart squeezes before dropping to my gut. "Jesus, Emmy." I pull back just enough to look her in the eye. "You outshine any other woman I've ever known and any I've yet to meet, just by being you. You don't need to impress me with your sexual prowess, Emmalyn. You don't need to blow my mind with orgasms. All I need is you. Y-O-U. That's it."
"Really?"
"Really."
"I feel like such an idiot."
"No need to."
"You're sweet to pretend."
"Not pretending, either. You're human, and sometimes humans do foolish, weird, messy things." I huff out a laugh. "Like bully the girl they love, albeit, I didn't know I loved you then."
Emmalyn sucks in a sharp breath. "You love me?"
Shit. Fuck. Am I doing this? "Yeah...I guess I do."
“Wow.” She blinks twice. “Really? You're not just saying it to make me feel better?"
I cup her cheek, rubbing the tips of my fingers over her smooth skin. "I'm just as surprised as you are."
She cracks a smile at that, trying to suppress a laugh, but it breaks free.
"You know laughter is not typically the response one wants upon telling someone they love them."
She drops her eyes, releasing my gaze. Immediately I feel bad, wishing like hell I could take the words back. "Hey, I was only joking. There's no pressure for you to feel any certain way about me. Just like everything else, it's on your time."
"No. I do...I do love you. So much that it scares me. I mean, how is it even possible to feel this way about you, given our history?"
Once again I'm hit with guilt, but I deserve it and I own it. "Honestly, and this might sound crazy, but I think our past is why we feel so strongly connected in the present. It wasn't an ideal beginning, but it was our beginning, plain and simple. There's never been anything typical about us, nor do I want there to be."
I shift and pull her a little closer. "Well, I would've preferred not to hurt you, but you know what I mean."
"As crazy as it sounds, I do love you, Sterling. Does this...does this mean...are we..."
A giant, smug grin breaks out across my face as she stumbles over her words. "Little mouse, are you trying to ask me if we're dating?"
Her cheeks turn a brilliant shade of pink. "Yeah, I guess so."
"Yes, we are. And we're dating exclusively."
"Exclusively?" There's an undercurrent of surprise in her tone, and I hate it. I'll just work that much harder to assure her of our status.
"That's right, baby, exclusively. Unless that's not what you want?"
"It's exactly what I want, it's just hard to believe you do. Surely you know that you're so out of my league—"
I cut her off. "No. That's where you're wrong. It's you who's out of my league."
She laughs; any other time the sound would be music to my ears, but the fact that it's full of self-deprecation rubs me the wrong way. This woman is wonderful and she needs to know it, which is why it's now become my new mission to prove it to her.
"How about some breakfast?" she asks, very obviously changing the subject.
"I could eat." I wag my brows.
"You're insatiable," she says with a small laugh.
"Only for you."
She rolls her eyes, trying to downplay my words.
"I mean it. This thing between us might take some time for you to get used to, but I need you to know I'm in this for the long haul. This isn't a game, and you aren't some passing fancy. I want a future with you, whatever that looks like. Anything and everything you're willing to give me, I. Fucking. Want. It."
Her eyes shine with emotion as she smiles up at me, her earlier sadness melting away. "I want you to have all of me, Sterling Abbot, every single drop."
