Page 138 of Crank (Crank 1)

shopping done if I went on a kissing

spree. A word of advice:

Never shop on crank.

Your brain moves beyond the

speed of light as you wander through

a familiar store. First, you can’t find Juniors.

Once you finally do, you need the restroom first,

then you get all turned around again.

Then, you can barely take it

all in. Sizes. Styles.

Colors. Trends.

Everything looks great on

those goofy mannequins, so it’s got to look

better on you, right? You grab an armful, stumble to a

dressing room, try on all those darling clothes

and nothing you like fits. So you leave silk

and velour and suede behind, settle

for two identical pairs of jeans.

Then you hustle off to the

next store and repeat the process,

only this time you leave with a couple of

tees exactly like a couple you bought last year.

And when you realize that, you laugh your

butt off, but really don’t want to hassle

with returns or exchanges so you

decide to accessorize instead.

A Second Word of Advice

If shopping for clothes on crank

is dumb, trolling for jewelry,

belts, and shoes is something

Source: www.allfreenovel.com