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I needed
a solid dose of courage.
I needed the strength only
the monster could give me.
I regretted
my weakness as I inhaled.
I regretted making the decision
to snuff out my baby’s life.
I Needed Two Things
The ride home was easy.
Robyn offered to drive,
as long as it didn’t interfere
with her cheerleading.
The $500, however, presented a challenge.
My bank account was low desert dry.
The Visa was maxed high.
Chase refused to help.
He was “floored” by my decision.
Another option came to mind, one
that owed me a lot more than money.
First Brendan denied paternity.
I reminded him about DNA.
Next he claimed poverty.
I threatened full disclosure.
To his hoity parents. To his toity girlfriend.
To his probation officer.
(A DUI, post—Air Races.)
Okay, he’d cough up the money.
Distasteful as it was to see
him again, it provided
