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He cleaned up when Grandma Jean
and Grandpa Carl took him to court over me.
Guess, win or lose, he decided to stay ice free.
Noticed I didn’t say bad habit free. He chugs
cheap beer, and the smell of weed
has become a daily welcome home
in the two weeks since I’ve been back.
He even asked if I wanted a hit once, but the idea
of smoking with my dad seemed messed up.
I hate that he made that offer to me. Hate
that he doesn’t think better of me.
Hate him for not really wanting me here.
ONE OKAY THING
About being here. Neither Dad
nor Kortni really cares about
when, if, or how I come or go.
They barely take notice at all.
Other than school, I’m free.
The main problem is transportation.
It’s a long way to civilization,
if you can call anything about
Bakersfield civilized. To find
something to do on this Sunday
morning, I need a ride into town.
Dad is still sleeping off too much
Saturday night fun. I should
call Matt. Have him come get
me, apologize for be
ing so cold.
He’s such a nice guy, at least
