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not a commitment, not forever … Dread
stuffs itself into my head, and I can’t say
why, let alone know how to fight it.
IT’S NOT EXACTLY UNUSUAL
For anxiety to trill suddenly.
But usually, somewhere in my brain,
there’s a certainty that it’s ridiculous.
This doesn’t feel that way. This feels
like a warning of coming chaos.
I finish buttoning my blouse,
tuck it into the striking tie-dyed skirt
Aunt Cora gave me on my last birthday.
I’ve never worn it before. It seemed
like a treasure. One to hang in
the closet, a safe place to keep
it. Now that it’s on, it’s only cloth.
I finish dressing, brush back my hair,
tie it loosely with blue velvet ribbon.
Grandfather will be pleased.
But I’m frightened by what
I see, held completely still in
the mirror’s glass grip. The girl
captured there, staring back at me,
is someone I don’t recognize.
THAT GIRL
Curves softly
inside flounces
of fabric. She looks
like the woman
I’m afraid to grow into.
