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sprint almost sent me to
the hospital because my
asthma (which can no doubt
be attributed to your
tweaking during the first
trimester you were pregnant
with me, and smoking the entire
nine months) kicked in so
hard I could barely suck
enough air to keep my
face from turning blue.”
Extracurricular stuff?
“Sure, because I’ve been
encouraged so regularly
to explore my unique set
of talents, huh? And, like,
I’ve got parents who’d
come watch me perform
even if I could sing or act
or dance or whatever.
No, Mother. My only
extracurricular stuff has
to do with making out.”
I COULDN’T SAY THAT, THOUGH
Because then she’d feel validated
about her other regular line of inquiry:
Boyfriends? No?
Girlfriends, then?
Either way, it’s all
good with me.
