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of my heart. My fingers go numb.
I close my eyes. Concentrate
on my breathing. Deep in. Hold.
Trickle out. Deep in. Hold …
Nobody notices. Good.
Eyes still clamped shut, I hear
Kristina respond. You’re wrong.
I don’t love myself at all. In fact,
I can hardly look at myself
in the mirror some days. Don’t
you think I know what I’ve done?
It’s not that I don’t care. But
I can’t change anything now.
Heart still too quick, but slowing,
I open my eyes just in time
to see Kristina’s tough facade
crumble and fall away with the words …
Summer
I’M SORRY
That’s what Kristina says.
We all look at her as if we haven’t
quite heard her correctly.
But she repeats, I’m so sorry.
I never wanted to be a bad mother.
Maybe that’s why I kept on
trying, kept on begging for another
chance to finally do it right. But I
don’t have the skills, don’t have—
“Don’t you dare say it!” I yell.
“Don’t say you don’t have
