Wednesday February 22nd
Back at Pam’s office today to discuss our near fortnight of not touching. She welcomed us in to the smell of burning incense and faint fart aroma.
‘Forgive the smell,’ she apologised, gesturing for us to sit down. ‘My last client brought her baby son with her, who proceeded to have rampant diarrhoea towards the end of the session.’
I smiled politely, reassuring her it wasn’t a problem, but Oliver lost it. What started as a faint shoulder shudder turned into a full blown, crying, can’t breathe, fit of the giggles. Eventually he calmed and it was his turn to apologise. ‘It’s not even that funny, I think I just have a lot of pent-up feelings.’
‘Interesting,’ Pam replied. ‘Have these last two weeks been difficult?’
Oliver took a tissue and wiped his eyes, still giving the occasional snicker. ‘I don’t know how we managed,’ he confessed. ‘It’s been tough at times. I think Phoebe’s Nine Inch Nails song is particularly accurate right now.’ He placed his hand on my knee and gave it a little squeeze.
Pam looked amused. ‘And you, Phoebe? How do you feel?’
‘It’s been quite successful, I think,’ I said, trying to be mature about the whole thing and not just launch into how utterly disgusting and distressingly undersexed we both are. I wanted to just agree with Oliver so we could move on to the next stage but I had that question that’s been nagging me since Tuesday.
‘We’re definitely ready to have sex again,’ I began, ‘but what . . . what if we get all of this sexual tension out of our system and then we’re back to where we started?’
‘It’s a good question,’ Pam responded. ‘You got to a point in your relationship where things stopped working. Sometimes seeing your partner on a purely sexual level comes way down on the list after being a parent, a household contributor, a friend . . . it’s important to focus on the way you both felt about each other when the sexual attraction was . . . intoxicating . . . urgent. From the way you’re responding to each other today, perhaps you’ve already had a glimpse of that urgency.’
We both nodded in unison.
‘Good. Then this next part will be far more enjoyable than the last. But it takes a great deal of trust and requires you both to be completely vulnerable with each other. What I want is for you both to focus on the other person. Indulge them. Their wish is your command. Almost like you’re having sex for the first time. Remember how much you wanted to please each other back then?’
‘So we get to have sex then?’ Oliver asked, clearing his throat.
Pam laughed. ‘As much and in as many ways as you can think of . . .’
Thursday February 23rd
I could tell by the look on Lucy’s face that she was eager to find out how my session with Pam went this week. Rather than yell across the office, I emailed her.
From:Phoebe Henderson
To:Lucy Jacobs
Subject:Next instalment
We’ve to make a sex jar. We write down our desires on pieces of paper and choose one or two a week. At the moment my greatest desire is to get someone to make my ironing pile disappear. We’re not seeing her for a month, so it gives us time to work on our ideas.
From:Lucy Jacobs
To:Phoebe Henderson
Subject:Re: Next instalment
SEX JAR, SEX JAR – YOU’RE A SEX JAR
So what, instead of Oliver telling you directly that he wants you to lick his balls, he just writes it down like it’s some big secret? Ooh, I like that actually . . . that’s quite hot – see, it’s even working on me.
From:Phoebe Henderson
To:Lucy Jacobs
Subject:Re: Next instalment
Oh GOD, he’s going to want me to do something vile, isn’t he? I don’t trust him with this task – if he tries to teabag me, he’s losing a testicle.
Friday February 24th
