‘It felt like you were pulling my foreskin off at one point.’ He looked so deflated.
I placed my hands on his thighs to push myself up from the floor, pressing into a blob that had escaped and gone rogue. That was the final straw. ‘Right, fuck this. We both need to shower and I especially need to set fire to these sheets.’
He didn’t even argue, he just threw on some underwear and headed for the bathroom while I pulled the duvet cover off the bed.
We showered together, scrubbing each other to remove every trace of that lube, like we were cleaning up a crime scene and vowing never to speak of it again.
‘Can you hand me that shower gel one more time?’ I asked before he turned off the water. ‘I think I missed a bit.’
Admittedly Oliver didn’t get the hand job I’d planned but it turns out zingy lime and lemon shower gel could save the day.
Monday June 26th
So, today was bizarre. Running late for work, I dropped Molly at nursery only to discover that I’d driven there with a flat tyre and no spare in the boot. Of course Sarah Ward-Wilson was the one to inform me because that woman misses NOTHING.
‘Oh, silly you. Just call the RAC. You do have roadside recovery, don’t you?’
Silly me? Oh, do shut the fuck up, you annoying woman.
‘I do,’ I replied, putting up my umbrella. The rain began bouncing off the streets in huge, heavy drops. ‘But I don’t have time to hang around. I’ll just call a cab into work and deal with it later.’
‘A taxi at morning rush hour? In the rain?’ she scoffed. ‘You’ll be waiting just as long as it would take to get your car fixed. Where do you work? I’ll drop you.’
Her random offer of generosity startled me. ‘What? No. No, that’s very kind but—’
‘Get in,’ she insisted. ‘We can chat on the way.’
I found myself agreeing and getting out of the rain and into her car, unsure whether she’d drive away with me and never come back.
Thankfully, I arrived at work, dry and grateful to Sarah for driving me. We talked about my job, and how she regretted not returning to her career in hotel management after she got married. Maybe she does have a good heart, she just keeps it hidden behind that snobbish façade.
Fifteen minutes late, I made my apologies and told Frank about my car troubles, but either he didn’t care or he knew that it was pointless reprimanding me. I settled down at my desk, ready to enjoy another uneventful day at the office.
‘Can I help you?’
I glanced over to where Lucy sat in reception and saw Lord Wilson looking around the room, completely ignoring her question. ‘Phoebe! You left your umbrella in the car.’
Before I had the chance to open my mouth, she was marching through the office like she owned the place, casually glancing at the rest of the staff who stared in disbelief.
‘Thought you might need it,’ she stated as she advanced upon my desk. ‘Nice office. Smaller than I imagined.’
Imagined? She’d literally only found out where I worked ten minutes ago.
‘Can I help you?’
The second person to ask this was Frank. Frank who’d bounded to my desk the moment he’d seen the blonde woman with the big fake tits approach it.
‘Sorry, Sarah was just returning my umbrella,’ I informed him, watching his face light up as she smiled at him.
‘Sarah, this is my boss Frank. Frank, this is—’
‘Sarah Ward-Wilson,’ she interrupted, sticking out her hand. ‘Sorry to interrupt, I just hated the thought of my good friend Phoebe being caught in the rain without her umbrella. Her car had a flat this morning, so I gave her a lift.’
Good friend? I don’t even know her phone number.
Frank laughed. ‘I thought she’d made that whole car story up. Well, that was kind of you. Phoebe’s very lucky to have you.’
He’s talking about me like I’m a five-year-old. There was a pause while they both just smiled at each other; Frank adjusting his tie and blingy watch, while Sarah groomed her hair into place. Oh dear God, they were flirting and it was weird.
