To:Phoebe Henderson
Subject: Halloween
I don’t know whether to have a Halloween party or not this year. It’s close to the wedding now and one party full of ghouls might be enough.
From:Phoebe Henderson
To:Lucy Jacobs
Subject: Re: Halloween
I don’t know why you’re consulting me on this, considering you ban children from attending and I’ve only been able to come to one in the last five years, you mean bastard.
I heard her snort from across the office.
From:Lucy Jacobs
To:Phoebe Henderson
Subject: Re: Halloween
Haha! If it wasn’t for my Halloween party, you might not have let Oliver knock you up, remember? Just because you make children at my house doesn’t mean I’ll let you bring them to my fabulous adult party. Besides, Jenny Tyler tried to dook for apples using her tits last year. No child needs to be subjected to that, I’m doing you a favour.
Now I was the one who was snorting. Jenny Tyler was notorious for getting her tits out when pissed. I heard that she did it on the night bus last year and got fined £200. Pretty certain she’s done it since though. She’s not well.
From:Phoebe Henderson
To:Lucy Jacobs
Subject: Re: Halloween
I think you could do without the stress of a party this year but it’s up to you. I shall be taking Molly to her school Halloween disco if you’d rather join me at that?
From:Lucy Jacobs
To:Phoebe Henderson
Subject: Re: Halloween
Are you serious? Halloween is supposed to be fun, shithead. Stop trying to involve me in your life.
Wednesday October 18th
This month’s session with Pam was far less snot-covered and stressful than the previous. There’s part of me that wonders if she just rolls her eyes whenever she sees our name in her appointment schedule. I would. I’d be all ‘OH GOD NOT THESE WHINY LITTLE BITCHES’ but then again, I’m not getting paid to listen to us.
For once she wasn’t scribbling away in her book. She just listened and nodded and at one point sneezed so expectedly it scared the shit out of me.
‘I think you’ve both made excellent progress,’ she said. ‘You came here to address the sexual concerns in your relationship, but it became apparent that they were hiding deeper issues for both of you, which may never have surfaced had you not taken the first step. You have the tools now to work with each other on your issues. Talking is obviously crucial but don’t forget the power of music. And written communication – whether it’s using your jar or just leaving a simple note that acknowledges the other person.’
And with that, we left Pam’s office and headed home, feeling smug that we hadn’t given up on this. Or on us.
Thursday October 19th
My parents arrived at quarter past eleven this morning, exhausted from their flight and ecstatic to see Molly, who to be fair was only interested in hearing about their dog.
It doesn’t matter how old I get, my parents coming to see me will always make me anxious. It’s like I’m presenting my life for them to judge. I judge myself enough for everyone.
I was really pleased to see them though – they were both looking well. Mum had died her hair a darker blonde that suited her and while the remainder of my dad’s hair was either still in Canada or had exited his head for good, he looked cheerful and tanned. As I hugged him it struck me that he always smelled like Mum’s perfume. Not in the sense that he’d been spraying himself with it, more like she lingered on him. It was comforting.
