*
6.30 p.m.Dinner was excellent. They’d decided to do a buffet with salmon, lamb and the most delicious mini lobster rolls I’ve ever had in my life. It was a smart move given that they chose to pay for the entire thing themselves – a full sit-down meal would have been a waste. It was all very informal and from the look on Kyle’s mother’s face, not quite what she’d hoped for. Kyle’s family were quite something. And by ‘quite something’, I mean ‘fucking abominable’. Given that Kyle loves nature and poetry and my best mate, I’d assume they’d be equally laid back and gentle, but how wrong I was. The dad, James, is a cardiovascular specialist (he told me this five times) and his mum Diana is a dentist with a private clinic in Bearsden. They were loud, condescending and devoid of any discernible humour. From what I could make out over dinner, the rest of the Hamilton clan weren’t much better – their chatter mainly focussing on money, their house renovations and whispers on how they’d have organised this wedding very differently. Lucy and Kyle handled it very well but intermittent glances my way from Lucy let me know she was very aware of their bullshit too. You could tell that these people weren’t often all in the same place together and that they were definitely one whisky and water away from a punch up.
‘Kevin’s just off to pick up the girls,’ Hazel informed me after they’d cut the cake. ‘I’ve asked Rosie to make sure they’re party ready!’
Hazel’s niece Rosie had saved the day, agreeing to babysit both Molly and Grace to let us have the day with our friends. Molly had been so excited to come this evening, I feared she might burst.
*
7.15 p.m.The girls arrived. Molly looked adorable in her pink dress and Grace looked annoyed that she’d been made to wear a dress in the first place. Lucy and Kyle appeared a little later than planned, looking dishevelled. It was obvious they’d been shagging because it’s Lucy. She’d shag at her own funeral. Also, Kelly and Brian turned up together. TOGETHER. At first I thought they’d just shared a cab but neither appeared to have brought a plus one. WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON?
*
7.30 p.m.I just watched my best mate and her husband dance like fools to ‘Kiss’ by Prince. It was glorious. There was no attempt to be graceful during their first dance, it was balls to the wall, sexy moves from the first beat. Lucy looked so happy, I started crying – my mascara once again ruined – but I didn’t care.
We all joined after the first chorus, even the Hamilton clan who by now were ten sheets to the wind but happy with it. Molly and Oliver performed some sweet moves they’d obviously been practising and Lucy, Hazel and I danced like we always did, like everyone was watching.
*
7.50 p.m.Kelly and Brian were deep in conversation. His hand brushed against hers and she touched his leg. PERVERTS.
*
8.45 p.m.I’d almost forgotten that Frank had been invited until I saw him stroll in with Sarah Ward-Wilson and her black, satin Moschino dress. Being in the best mood ever, I, Chief Bridesmaid Henderson, graciously said hello and welcomed them before returning to my seat at the table. I would have been happier if they hadn’t followed me back and sat down but hey,nothingwas going to spoil my day.
‘She looks wonderful,’ Frank said, waving over at Lucy. ‘Really super.’
‘She does,’ Sarah chimed in. ‘What a beautiful dress. It’s very . . . unusual. Frank, why don’t I get us some drinks? You and Phoebe can catch up.’
Catch-up with what? I thought; we saw each other at work yesterday. I watched her walk towards the bar and turned to Frank, who was smiling at me. It was kind of creepy. Like a serial killer who knew where the bodies were buried and would never tell.
‘What are you so happy about?’ I asked, taking a sip of my lukewarm champagne. ‘Did someone finally Pimp Your Ride?’
‘I don’t even know what that means,’ he responded. ‘But yes, I am happy and I have you to thank.’
‘Me? Why? What did I do?’
‘Well, without you, I’d never have met such a wonderful woman. She’s really something, Phoebe. Between you and me, I think she might bethe one.’
My heart sank. Not only was he was smitten with this woman, he was thanking me for making it all possible. Frank might not be my favourite person in the world, but I can’t bear the thought of anyone being taken for a ride. However, a wedding was not the place to inform him that his girlfriend was an arsehole.
‘Blimey, Frank,’ I said. ‘That escalated quickly. I thought you’d only had a couple of dates. She’s still living with her husband. Aren’t you jumping the gun a bit?’
‘Seven dates to be exact,’ he replied, taking off his suit jacket, ‘and it’s just a temporary arrangement between them. For God’s sake, Phoebe, you sound like my mother.’
‘No champers left, babe, this will have to do.’
Sarah sat down and placed some prosecco in front of him.
He inspected the glass and shrugged. ‘It’s fine. We can have something decent at my house, later.’
It was almost like they’d been made for each other in a lab. Perhaps this relationship had more merit than I gave it credit for.
‘What’s with the disposable cameras?’ Frank asked, picking one up. ‘How odd.’
‘The guests are the photographers,’ I replied. ‘It’s an excellent idea. There’s loads of them kicking about. Lucy will get them developed after her honeymoon.’
‘Seems silly,’ Sarah piped up. ‘Everyone has camera phones, why not just use them?’
