I sat up and rubbed my eyes, catching sight of myself in the wardrobe mirror. Holy crap. I looked like Young Einstein.
‘I want a pony, Oliver. I want a pony called SHUT UP,WE’RE BARELY OUT OF FUCKING NOVEMBER,’ I replied, my harsh whisper burning the back of my throat. ‘And while we’re on the subject, are you losing the porn star tash today? You look like a pervert. And not in a good way.’
He rolled over and plumped up his pillow. ‘It was for charity, grumpy arse.’
‘But no one sponsored you. You just wanted to be Tom Selleck.’
‘I think you’ll find that every man born before 1980 wants to be Tom Selleck. Anyway, why are you in such a bad mood?’
‘Because I’m tired!’ I replied. ‘I’m tired andI’m frumpy! Look at the state of my hair. Actually, look at the state of YOUR hair.’
He pursed his lips together and turned off the lights. Moments later, I heard him whisper, ‘A pony it is, then.’
Haha! HE’S SO ANNOYING.
Monday December 4th
Frank looked rather serious as he started the morning meeting and with good reason.
‘I’m sorry to have to tell you that London has decided to close the Scottish office. I’m afraid the way the market is, our little contribution to the newspaper as a whole doesn’t justify keeping us open.’
‘Just us?’ Brian asked, his face turning as pale as mine was. All I could think was,Fuck. We’re all unemployed.
Frank shook his head. ‘No, everyone from editorial to display. I’ll be speaking with you all individually to discuss your redundancy packages, along with HR, but this will be your last week. Again, I’m very sorry.’
‘But it’s fucking Christmas!’ Kelly exclaimed. While we had all turned pale, her face was bright red. ‘They couldn’t have picked a better time?! What are they offering? I mean, Jesus Christ, Frank.’
I felt sorry for Frank. This wasn’t his fault. He cleared his throat and told Kelly he’d speak to her first.
We all left the conference room and returned to our desks; well, except Lucy who pulled up a chair and sat beside me.
‘Oh fuck,’ she said. ‘So this is happening. We’ve just paid for that wedding. Oh fuck.’
I nodded in acknowledgment. ‘I’m still paying for my child.’
She started to laugh. We both did because neither of us knew what the fuck else to do. Behind us we could hear Brian on the phone to a recruitment agency. He wasn’t wasting a single moment, unlike those of us who were in mild hysterics.
‘I’m trained for NOTHING,’ I said, my face beginning to ache. ‘What the hell am I going to do now? I’m nearly forty! Retrain as a plumber?’
Lucy abruptly stopped laughing. ‘Wait. We’re not going to be working together anymore. Oh God, we’re going to have to go to interviews and pretend we take this shit seriously.’
Yep. After a decade working forThe PostI was going to have to start all over again, doing the same shit with people that weren’t Lucy. Suddenly it wasn’t so funny.
Tuesday December 5th
After my meeting with Frank yesterday afternoon, I discussed everything with Oliver, who was a fucking champ.
‘So I’ll get a month’s salary for every year I worked there. That should keep us going while I look for something else.’
‘Shit,’ he said, cuddling me. ‘You OK?’
‘I think so. It’s just a bit of a shock. I wanted to leave there, of course, I just wanted to do it on my own terms. Kelly walked out yesterday, telling Frank if he expected her to lift another finger, he was sorely mistaken. I admire that.’
I lay down and rested my head on his lap while he stroked my hair. ‘I could probably get another sales job but my heart is telling me that this redundancy is actually a kick up the arse to find out what else I’m capable of.’
‘You could be right,’ he agreed.
‘But what if I’m not capable of anything else?’
