She laughs. ‘True. In fact, there is a coffee bean which is plucked from cat poo. I could have said that, but a) it’s gross and b) we don’t serve it here.’
‘I hate that I’m going to have to google that. I’ll end up on a watch list.’
Sarah glances at her watch. ‘Actually, I was hoping to have a quick word. I’m due a break, if you have time?’
I’m in no hurry to get home. Matt is working late and I’m still a little bit agitated that Angela hasn’t texted me back.
‘Sure, why not.’
‘Great. Let me just make a tea and I’ll be over.’
Sarah eventually joins me, bringing two slices of carrot cake with her. ‘Perks of being the assistant manager,’ she informs me. ‘The official line is that these cakes were dropped and are therefore wastage.’
‘Wastage cake is the best cake,’ I reply. ‘I won’t hear a word against it.’
She hands me a fork and we begin to eat.
‘I hear you and Matt are going out again?’ I say, taking a corner of the cake. ‘That’s a good sign.’
She smiles. ‘It’s a little out of my comfort zone. Don’t get me wrong, Matt’s super nice, but it’s been a while since I dated anyone. . . it’s been hard finding time, with Alfie being so young. I feel completely out of the loop these days. Not sure I’d fare well on a dating site anyway, so this has been a much gentler introduction.’
‘Oh, it’s easy,’ I reply. ‘All you need is an Instagram filter and an inspirational quote. Men will swipe for less.’
‘Talking from experience? Matt mentioned you’ve just broken up with someone.’
I squirm. ‘Did he now? What else did he say?’
‘Nothing! Sorry, it’s none of my—’
‘Don’t worry,’ I say. ‘She broke up with me, but I’m not quite ready toLive Laugh Lovewith someone else just yet.’
Now she’s cringing. ‘God, I hate all that shit. Pointless platitudes make my brain hurt.’
I nod enthusiastically. ‘My ex, Angela, loves them, though she once posted one on Instagram not realising it was from Attila the Hun.’
Sarah almost chokes on her tea. ‘Oh God, I’m sorry for laughing; I’m sure she’s lovely but. . .’
‘It’s fine. You’re pretty much having the same reaction I did.’
I share a few dating-app horror stories, which I’ve collected from friends – and by friends, I mean myself pre-Angela – and Sarah laughs loudly, snorting unexpectedly, which sets her off again. It’s rather sweet.
‘Sooo, Nick,’ she begins, pausing briefly to attack her cake with her fork while she calms down. ‘I’m glad you came in today. I’ve been thinking about what you said the other night.’
‘You might need to narrow it down. I say a lot of dumb shit.’
‘About the babysitting. . .’
‘Ah, yes!’
‘Well, my sitter can’t do many nights over Christmas and Matt’s asked me to go to that new Italian place tomorrow and—’
‘Of course, I’ll watch Alfie! Matt can just drop me at yours when he picks you up.’
She scrunches up her face. ‘Well. . . you were great with Alfie the other night, but have you ever babysat anyone before? Nieces, nephews?’
‘Well, I’m an only child. . . and so was my mum, but I’m really good with kids! Actually, I’ve literallyjustlooked after my boss’s teenage demon for the past hour, and she survived, so I’m practically an expert.’
‘It’s just a lot to ask of someone,’ she says.
