‘It’s make-believe,’ Izzy snarls. ‘Why you care? Just keep doing the squeaky elf voice and we get along, OK?’
As she stomps to the front of the grotto, I hear Laura mumble, ‘That’s my real voice.’
I tell her just to ignore Izzy and she laughs. ‘Oh, she doesn’t bother me,’ she squeaks. ‘Not really. I’m just here for the extra cash. I’m two years from finishing my postgrad in criminology; she’s good practice for the sociopaths I’m bound to encounter after I graduate.’
While the thought of her squeaking at hardened criminals amuses me, I suddenly feel quite old and useless. She’s just at the start of her career and I’m most certainly at the end of mine, playing Santa for rent money instead of using the degree I slaved for. Seeing my student loan taken out of my Santa pay cheques every week might be the most depressing thing I’ve ever seen. I defeatedly take my place on my throne as Izzy ushers in the first of many kids.
The growing number of visitors also means that the grotto now opens two hours earlier. Thankfully, to compensate, I’ve been given a lunch break, complete with a twenty per cent food court employee discount. I am officially part of the Southview Shopping Centre family. Yay, me.
‘Please don’t wear your uniform during lunch,’ Geraldine insisted, handing me my swipe card. ‘Santa doesn’t stop off for Big Macs or Wagamama while he’s working. You don’t want to be besieged by children while you eat, and I don’t want to be hearing complaints from parents about food stains on your costume. It’s happened before.’
I agree and go into the staffroom to change into my own clothes before I meet a smiling Sarah, who’s waiting for me by the calendar stand. She picks up one and scans the back cover carefully.
‘It’s December. You’re welcome.’
‘Photoshopped photos of cows drinking beer,’ she says, her nose wrinkled with loathing. ‘What a time to be alive. Puts me in the mood for burgers though. You ready to eat?’
Hanging out with Sarah at work has now become a regular occurrence. First it was the odd coffee between shifts but now we’ve progressed to lunch, although I’m pretty sure my employee discount was a deciding factor. She’s not employed directly by Southview so has to pay normal prices like everyone else.
Yesterday we ate noodles at the slightly grubby Thai place and today it seems we’re getting burgers. It’s nice to be able to hold a decent conversation with the woman Matt is seeing for once. His usual types are sullen, snooty and unlikely to laugh at my jokes, but Sarah is really easy-going. Our lunches make my days here a little more bearable.
‘You didn’t have to do the dishes at mine the other night,’ she said, shaking a little packet of salt for her fries. ‘I appreciate it but you’re not the hired help.’
‘Don’t be daft. Alfie fell asleep pretty early and I was washing my mug anyway.’ This time Sarah and Matt went to the new cocktail and steak place at Piccadilly. Between dating Matt and my food court discount, Sarah’s food bill must be a fraction of what it was when we first met.
‘It makes me just a little uncomfortable.’ She laughs. ‘Like you think I’m not keeping a clean house for Alfie or something.’
Her face looks just a little strained as she says this, and I can tell she isn’t really joking. It’s as if she’s worried that I think she’s a crappy parent. Nothing could be further from the truth.
‘My mum raised me by herself,’ I say, nicking one of her chips. ‘She also hated accepting help. It was like she refused to rely on anyone because she knew they’d inevitably let her down.’
‘Ah, so you’re a mummy’s boy, huh?’
‘Yeah, guilty as charged,’ I reply quickly with a smile, not wanting to get into a discussion about my mum over a lukewarm Burger King. ‘All I’m saying is, I did her dishes too. Sometimes it’s just nice to have a hand.’
Sarah smiles and pinches the pickle I’ve removed from my burger. ‘You’re a good guy, Nick. I can see why Matt thinks so highly of you. You know, I’m so glad we met.’
‘I’m glad you guys met too,’ I reply, my phone vibrating on the table beside me. I swipe it open to see a new message. ‘I knew that you two would—’
‘No,you,silly!’ She swats my arm. ‘I’m so glad I metyou.’
As I look up from my phone, our eyes lock and just for a moment, neither of us look away, her smile slowly fading to something more confusing.
‘Matt,’ I say, holding up my phone. ‘It’s Matt.’
As she breaks my gaze, the world begins moving around us again. That was weird.
‘Right, yes,’ she says, clearing her throat. ‘Do you need to call him or. . .’
‘Nah, it’s just dad stuff. I used the last of the milk apparently and should therefore replace it. And he wants me to use my discount to pick up a few dozen six-packs of beer. How he sees me getting on to the bus with that, I don’t know. . .’
‘Ah, for the big birthday bash, right?’ she asks. ‘He mentioned it the other day.’
‘Yup. One every year. Can you make it to the party?’
She scrunches up her face. ‘I mean, I can but. . .’
‘What?’
